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Slick here. Look! It's Stonehenge.

No, really. I saw it. It was much bigger than the one they had on Spinal Tap.

What? Oh. LRNs says I'm supposed to say something educated and erudite about this World Heritage Site. Let's see... Stonehenge is England's most famous Neolithic stone circle. The "henge" part refers to the circular bank of earth that surrounds the site. It is located near Salisbury, on the windswept rise of Salisbury Plain. The larger stones are Saresen stones, from ~20 miles away, and are at least 2-3 times taller than a person. The inner circle of smaller stones are "Bluestones" and were brought all the way from Wales--240 miles...impressive work for the people living there 3500-4500 years ago. Not much is known about the origins of these people or why they built the circle, although many theories have been suggested--including an ancient solar calendar or place of religious or mystical significance.

In other words: it's a bunch of big rocks that have been there for a long, long time. No one really knows who put them there or why. There are a bunch of sheep in the next field over, who don't really seem to mind one way or the other.

Batman Tortures His Enemies Too

I saw this little bit about the A.G. confirmation hearings...

Mukasey Won't Say Waterboarding Torture

My Synopsis: After WWII the U.S. convicted a Japanese officers of warcrimes for waterboarding, but Bush's pick for A.G. can't figure out if waterboarding is torture.

It got me thinking...

I'm going to go out on a ethical limb here and say that even "good" people reach breaking points in their lives and act rashly, harsh and do downright evil things. Under duress, I believe that a good person can and will resort to horrible acts in the heat of the moment. A parent may do violence to another to save their child. A military commander may sacrifice a life to save many. These are horrible choices of the human condition.

I mentioned in a recent post that a lot of life-lessons can be found in the pages of comic books. One of my favorite comic-book heroes is Batman. Batman often resorted to mental and physical punishment to gather information from the bad-guys. Almost always there was a ticking clock involving a kidnapped child or a bomb. Hey, Batman is a superhero! He wouldn't do something bad, right? Wrong.

The iconic "Dark Knight" balances precariously on that thin gray line called morality. I believe that the character I grew up reading would justify his actions, but also call them what they are. Batman wouldn't sugar-coat things or spin them. Batman would call waterboarding torture. Batman would say that it's an uncivilized and reprehensible act. He would do it anyway. Batman's ethics are regularly challenged by his peers. Superman regularly challenged his decisions, to which Batman would respond by calling Superman a "Boy Scout." Thankfully, their moral debates were pure fiction and the resolution of the events had no bearing on real lives. This is not the case with the current quests about torture "We the People" struggle with today. Real lives are damaged by our decisions.

Somehow, I almost prefer Batman's world to Bush's. My problem is that the two are becoming a bit too similar. Batman makes no excuses for his actions, neither does Bush. Batman tortures his enemies to protect the people of Gotham. Bush "protects" us. Batman is a vigilantly who convinced the law to turn a blind-eye to his actions. Gasp, so is the President!

At least Batman doesn't raid Arkham Asylum for his political appointees. That's it! Edward "E" Nigma for A.G. & Harvey Dent for the Supreme Court!

Homeward Bound

I'm at my in-laws tonight. After consulting my friends, my next stop will be home. I was torn by a need to wait for a change in Karen's condition. But the gang was unanimous in their desire for me to go home and be with my wife. (She arrives home from her business meeting tomorrow.)

So, I'm resting up for the long trip. Unfortunately, the stress of the weekend has made my fibromyalgia really uncomfortable. So, I'm going to play it by ear. I'll either leave mid-afternoon or leave on Wednesday morning.

I can't really ever say I'm excited to go back to North Carolina, but loving wife will be home AND all my stuff is there. So, in my mind I'm going to Carolina.

A flood of memories

The other amazing thing about this weekend has been the flood of memories & the mixing of my worlds. My memories and relationships from my college years interacted with memories of high school and of my early post-college years. I stood on the train platform at 30th Street Station as a flood of disconnected memories about my first girlfriend, high school stupidity, my college friends, that shitty non-profit job, train-trips to see my "future" in-laws all hit me.

The stress and fatigue of the last few days caused a massive fibro-flareup that hung with me during the entire visit to the hospital. The pain and numbness running throughout my body added to the surreal feeling of it all.

Riding on that train home gave me other surprising emotions. I'd describe them perhaps as regret and longing, but I'm not sure those are the right words. I was not expecting my life to turn out the way it has. Ten years ago when I commuting on that same train, I expected that Slick and I would end up in a little house along that train route w/ our 1.5 kids. I expected that I would be working at an I.T. job in one of those big office buildings downtown. I expected Slick to drive our only car to her research job in the burbs. Instead, we live in a small town in North Carolina. I don't work because of my condition & we don't have kids.

One of the songs that I randomly put on my iPod folk-mix for this trip was "Will the Circle Be Unbroken." I'm not really into country, but I like that song. It seemed to fit the moment. It's a song about loss and family. I listened to that song standing on the train platform and it brought me comfort. "There's a better home a-waiting in the sky Lord, in the sky."

I've got a ton more living to do, but it's nice to be reminded of where I came from & where I'm going.

A Generous Portion of Joy & Sorrow With a Side of Nostalgia

Today's title is the best way I can describe the events of the past few days. I didn't order this "meal" but I went ahead and ate it anyway. In the process, I received a very real reminder that mountain top & valley experiences are sometimes the same thing.

When I planned my trip north to see Cainam (Slick is away on business) I expected a weekend filled with XBox, geek-speak, Anime movies and lots of steak! I'm certain to get all of those before the weekend is over, but things have not gone as expected.

As you may remember from my post last week, Don't Give Up, Never Give Up, Karen was rushed to UPenn hospital last week. When I spoke to her on the phone she was clearly sick, tired and medicated, but she was still optimistic. I decided then and there that I would include her in my trip. Sadly, as my trip got closer and closer news of Karen's condition became more and more disconcerting. By the time I left my house on Thursday, it became clear to me that my trip held more meaning that going to cheer up a sick friend.

I spent most of my day on Friday at the hospital sitting with her and various members of her family. She was mostly lucid. She laughed for me. It was one of those marvelous Karen laughs -- muted and strained behind the breathing mask -- that took me back to meals at the "Garden Room" and silly drunken conversations in Walz during our sophomore year. I met her precious little girls. I played with the little one and read a book with her. She tugged on my goatee and laughed like a little Karen. It was wonderful and it was so very sad. By mid-afternoon more and more family had arrived. I felt it was time to make my exit, so I kissed Karen on the forehead and told her I loved her. It was a painfully slow ride back on the Schuylkill Expressway to Cainam's place that afternoon. I thought for certain that would be the last time I saw her.

This is where I pause and mention that I don't have a happy ending for you. Karen is still holding on, but not for much longer. Miracles can and do happen, just not always the ones we want. Still, I can't help but think that the next part of my story -- the really joyful part -- was all thanks to Karen and her silly laugh.

Within hours of being at Cainam's place, I had received and sent several phone calls. The "Muhl-Crew" was mobilizing. Practically everyone from my "college family" was coming to Philly to see Karen. Instead of a Saturday full of junk food and video games, I got a Saturday full of friends sharing stories and showing off children. (Some of whom I met for the first time.) Yes, none of us wanted to be huddled around that mass of cafeteria tables taking turns watching children and going to see Karen, but all of us felt a sense of belonging and togetherness we had not felt for years. I even found myself sitting at a Starbucks with "MetsFan" and his wife for over an hour just talking like we used to do when the three of us used to take wild all-night road trips to see the sunrise.

More than once this weekend I heard someone challenging God. Where was he? Why was he letting this happen? I was cautious with my responses, not wanting to challenge their pain and sorrow. I, however, knew exactly where God was. God was in the room! Cancer happens. SHIT happens! God's hand brought us together. God's tears were running just like ours. God was in that room with nearly 20 people trying to take turns kissing Karen on her head. God was clearly consipiring with Karen to give us one more surprise.

While we were all in college, we pronounced Halloween our holiday. For years after school, Halloween was the holiday we all got together, ate pumkin-chocolate-chip cookies and tried to develope a taste for wine. This lasted as the last of us got married, the first of the children were born and even survived several people moving away and back again. It finally died 3 years ago when Slick and I moved to Charlotte. Too quickly it faded from our collective memories.

So, imagine my surprise when I suddenly remembered that this is Halloween weekend. Karen brought us all together for "our" holiday. I called around to get the word out. Everyone was shocked and amazed by my revelation. None of us had thought of it until then. This to me is a miracle. It's not the one we wanted. Yet, it's an amazing gift from an amazing woman. If it's the last gift she gives me, then she saved the best for last.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring or if Karen will even survive the night. But I know God is with her. I know that I am better for knowing her. I know that I saw the true measure of her life this weekend. What a blessing.

I hope and believe that we will take this gift from Karen and use it to keep our friendships alive. Karen was hoping that we would all take a group vacation when she got better. For Karen, I'm hoping that we honor that wish.

OMG there are books at the Library

In this world of Amazon.com & Borders mega stores we forget that we have libraries. Heck, my mother-in-law is actually president (aka sucker who couldn't say no) of her local library board. But I digress...

As part of our "simplify" process, Slick and I really wanted to cut costs and waste. We have shelves upon shelves of books. Some are "precious" and might get re-read like her Agatha Christi collection & my C.S.Lewis. Others, however, are just pulp-fiction that we picked up in various places. Last year we spent hundreds of dollars on books. Sure we're not as bad as the characters in the Anime series Read or Die, but a lot of books.

As part of our simplification plan, we're donating over 1/3 of our books & using our library cards a lot more. In fact, the last 3 books I've read & the last 5 Slick read have all come from the library. I also found the audio books selection. I got some out for the long car-ride I have this weekend.

Tru Dat!

Admittedly, this is funnier if you actually play World of Warcraft, aka Warcrack. Just click the link and read the short post. Seriously, anything I say will not do this justice. ROTFLMAO!!!

More US Warcraft Players than Famers

Note for Dad: ROTFLMAO = Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. Variations include "ROTF" and "LMAO." Anything to cut the chat short so you can quest more Razormane.

File under: WTF!!!

Fake Turf Watered As Supplies Dry Up

Duke field hockey ASTROTURF fields are being watered because of the rules. What about common sense? There's no excuse. I don't care if it's a rule. I don't care if they have an exception. This is just stupid.

This is even more stupid as the whole paying to zero out emissions. "Yes," says movie producers, "we made billions of pounds of waste making this film, but we planted trees." How about planting trees AND cutting your waste?

Dear Duke & UNC athletic departments, how about teaching your student athletes a real lesson? Tell the International Hockey Federation that you won't comply for the sake of the environment.

Good lord, while I'm forcing myself to cut my showers (even though it helps my muscle pain) these schools are watering astro-turf. I'm not saying I'm not perfect. I'm not saying that I don't waste and/or make waste. But I'm trying. And watering astro-turf for any reason is not trying!

I have a new word for people like these. They are called F#%$NUTS!

If you see the "upside" of Rowling's head, SMACK it for me!

Did you see the news? Dumbledore is gay, 'Harry Potter' author reveals.

I have so many comments to make here I'm not sure where to start. So, let's go with the obvious one. WTF? J.K. Rowling, what were you thinking?

First off, the anti-witchcraft & anti-gay community are the same people. But, you knew that already. You wanted to do something sensational. Did you think it would shock homophobes into rethinking their position? They won't. Or is it that your worried that you'll fade from the public eye now that your books are done? Good grief!

Firstly, you've turned him into a cliche.' "Headmaster is gay! Film at 11!"

How does this possibly help the plight of the gay community? It doesn't. There's no good purpose served here. Suddenly, Dumbledore's sexual orientation is his defining attribute. Instead of being a great wizard & headmaster, he becomes a gay man who happens to be great. Instead of people looking at his altruistic tendencies, they start questioning his motivations for befriending Harry. This is bad for the gay community, not good. It makes him the gay-wizard in the same way that Obama is the black-candidate and Clinton is the woman who thinks she can lead.

The world will never start to change until we stop thinking about people by such labels. It's fine that he's gay. Good for him! It shouldn't matter. Did you learn this lesson watching the Empire Strikes Back? When Yoda tells us "Size matters not" he's telling us something about the true nature of humanity; we are not limited by the preconceptions of the world. Yet, in one swift move you limit yourself and Dumbledore.

And the need to bring this point up only serves to put a dark cloud over a wonderful series of books and cause our gay friends more problems.

If you REALLY want to learn something about promoting equity and understanding in fiction, go find yourself a comic-book store and get every back issue of every X-Men title ever made. The mutant plight including the mutant plague is a much better allegory for the plight of the gay community than your books will ever be. It sure taught me a lot more about treating my fellow humanity with respect and acceptance than the outing Dumbledore.

Heck, the answers to all of life's great lessons can be found in the pages of X-Men, Spiderman, Batman or Superman. Sigh! It's true what Uncle Ben kept telling us kids, "With great power comes great responsibility." Good thing that Rowling can't out Professor X or Alfred Pennyworth.

Don't Give Up, Never Give Up

Most guys in their 30's will remember that quote from Jimmy Valvano. Shortly before his death to cancer in 1993, he gave a memorable speech at the ESPY Awards.

To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number 1 is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number 2 is think. You should spend some time in thought. And Number 3 is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

The V Foundation is dedicated to finding a cure for cancer. It's motto is "Don't Give Up, Never Give Up."

I'm going to share those words with my college friend Karen. Usually, I give all my friends pseudonyms in this blog, but her name is mentioned in the article I'm going to link.

Fighting the Triple Negative

Since her double mastectomy two weeks ago, she's returned to the hospital. The cancer has spread to several places. I talked to her on the phone last night. Along with the discomfort, grogginess and sorrow in her voice, I heard hope. This is a person who hasn't given up. She's got small children at home. She's got a "rock" for a husband. She's got family and friends pulling for her. She's got people all over the world praying. She wanted our college gang to make plans for a group vacation!

She's fighting!

My crew passed one of those stupid email questionnaires around yesterday. One of the questions was "are you strong?" We all responded with silly answers. None of us have ever been tested. Karen is strong. I've know that about her since we met 10 years ago.

So, to our mutual friends who are reading this, don't give up. If anyone can beat this, it's Karen.

To everyone else, take care of yourselves. Women, get breast exams. Men, check yourselves out too! Above all, laugh, think and cry! And for Karen's sake, never give up!

Props to Vinny

So, I would be a bad sport if I didn't give a shout-out to Vinny "still got it" Testaverde after all the crap I gave him and the Panthers last week.

My buddy Crash commented to me that I was a little harsh on Panthers fans and I wanted to set the record straight. I, in no way, condone ill-treatment of visiting fans. Frankly, I've been embarrassed more than once for being a Philadelphia sports fan. I'm just bitter from all the complaining I heard from folks about how mean "we" Eagles fans are. That said...there are other reasons for my rival fan bitterness.

I don't know how many times I've sat in the bleachers of the old Veterans stadium during Mets games and had to deal with rude Mets fans who came down from NY and/or drunk Phillies fans trying to pick fights with them. So bad were my experiences with games when the Mets have been in town that I once turned down FREE lower level seats to a game.

All Mets fans should receive life-long bans from Citizens Bank Park. Heck, all NY fans should be banned from the Philly sports complex. And when I say this, I'll point out that the best man at my wedding is a Giants/Mets fan. He's great people. He's allowed in as long as he wears Philly gear! ;-)

Note: My one experience at Giants Stadium was a delight. It was cold and we lost, but the fans were good to us. Also, Shea Stadium looks like shit from the outside, but it's a nice park on the inside.

Dealing with the Three Versions of Me

This is going to be another one of my Fibromyalgia rants. I had a bad few days last week and feel the urge to pontificate on things.

Looking back over my life, I now believe that I've always been a fibromyalgic. For most of my life, it's been mild. I was never a super-healthy kid, but my insane mountain-biking metabolism kept me going through high school and into college. Even back then, I was sick a lot with migraines, muscle aches, GERD and horrible sinus infections. When I stopped riding all-together after hurting my neck at 25, I saw my metabolism change and never regained a high-level of activity. I muddled through. It wasn't until the last two years when WHAM the muddling stopped working. I've contemplated why my ability to cope and the level of discomfort sky-rocketed these last 2 years. I understand now that it wasn't one thing. My weight gain, horrible commute, changing metabolism and environmental factors all had to be contributors.

The massive lifestyle changes that I've been going through for the last 6 months have really helped. The biggest factor is Slick. Her love and understanding has enabled me to focus on my health. I hope it's helped both of us. My weight is down, sinus infections are down and my recovery time is faster.

That said, let me focus on the title of this post, "Dealing with the three versions of me." I wanted to write this out so I could explain how things are really going. I've basically talked about this before.

Version 1: Feels Good
Version 2: Eh, I'm OK
Version 3: I feel like crap

You can say, "That sounds like everyone." Well, yes but no. Now, this isn't scientifically documented but I think this will help people understand things a little better.

Age Range: time spent feeling good/eh/crap
34+: 25%/50%/25%
32-34: 10%/40/50%
25-32: 50% /35% /15%

So, what does this mean? I figure that the average person is 60/30/10 or better. This means that they spend most of their time fully functional, partly "eh" & occasionally sick. You can dispute this, but this is my opinion. Before I got sick, I was below the curve but doing good. After I got sick, I was bad. Good days were hard to find. Now, I have equal good and bad days. I live in the middle.

So, what does it mean to live in the middle? It means that I wake up every day feeling iffy. If I have the energy I can push myself to accomplish stuff. I always function like someone who needs a break. I rarely ever can give my best effort to anything. Yet, I consider this to be a huge improvement. I'm functioning. I'm able to live a semi-normal life. My wife, doctor and I all see the progress.

There are some indications that this is as good as it gets. Do I accept that? Do I double my efforts? I don't have actual answers. Actually, I just have more questions.

Even if this is as good as it gets, I do have a desire to move forward. After 6 months of totally focusing on me, I'm thinking about the next 6 months differently. How do I maintain the good changes and start focusing on doing more than just getting healthy? What activities should I spend my time on? What do I want to accomplish? What needs to be accomplished? How do I keep myself from making the same old mistakes?

That brings me back full circle to life feeling "eh." It's hard. I have to motivate myself every day. I have to listen to my body constantly. Too much pushes me over the edge. Too little slides me back down. Usually, walking the dog is a good benchmark. If I've got energy after walking the dog, I set my mind to accomplishing things. If I don't, I try to relax. That's all well and good, but what happens when I have multiple post-walk days sans-energy?

This rambling rant is not an effort to start a pity party. I'm just putting thought to virtual-paper. Today, I got the dog walked and just want to rest. I feel, however, that I need to push myself today. I'm not sure I can. And that's the biggest frustration about the here and now. I don't want to go back to where I was 6 months ago and I know I can't go back to where I was 3 years ago. And so, I put one foot in front of the other, just like everyone else.

And the Noble Goes to...

Al Gore! YES! That's fantastic.

Let there be no mistake. Al Gore is hands down the guy I want for president. I have refrained from joining Draft Gore because I'm a lurker not a joiner.

Make no mistake, he passes all my tests. Here's my current list of key questions. Gore got a perfect score.

Is he Electable? Yes
Is he Presidential? Yes
Is he liked internationally? You bet
Would he be an "Environmental" president? Duh!
Is he against the war? Yes and I would trust him to resolve it.
Do I generally agree with his other political positions? Yes
Does he have experience? Why he'd be arguably the most experienced & knowledgeable candidate.
Is he a veteran? Yes, and those Swiftboat guys can kiss his sweet unblemished service record.
Is he a democrat? Yes.
Is he smart? Dude, seriously! He's dripping with smart.

And the list goes on...

Still, I don't think he'll run. I don't think he wants to put his family through that. In a lot of ways, he's doing a lot of good right where he is. He seems happy and excited about his work. I'd hate to wish 4 to 8 years of clean-up duty on him.

Ah, but I can dream!

Sylar is Spock?!?

If you've been living under a rock, you probably haven't heard that J.J.Abrams (Alias, Lost) is working on the new Star Trek -- please don't let it suck -- Prequel movie due out around Christmas '08.

Well, I must be living under the rock next door because I didn't notice who's been cast as Spock. Zachary Quinto! Who's he? Quinto plays the evil, bad, nasty, brain-stealing Sylar on Heroes. He's going to be Spock? How could they? He's got this dark emotionless stare...Hmmm...Actually, that could work...

So, the Heroes - Star Trek casting mix continues... First Sulu (George Tekei) joins heroes, then Sylar is cast for Star Trek, and on Monday Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) joined Heroes. Who's next?

A Society Afraid of Compromises

I think we've become a society afraid of compromises. I look and I see today's story about the 14 year old who shot 4 people and then killed himself and I wonder how it came to that. I wonder why we can't have sensible gun laws that are enforced.

I come from an anti-gun background. Growing up the son of an urban minister father and a social activist mom, I learned to question the fun of playing war. When I was 16 and a classmate was shot 4 times in the back -- just for talking to a girl -- I understood then what the fuss was about.

As an adult, my wife's family taught my about the gun's place in rural farm life. It makes sense. Hunting means protecting livestock and feeding your family. It's a cherished part of rural American life.

The NRA & the gun lobby urges us that gun laws only keep guns from law-abiding citizens. The limited data on the subject seems to support whomever wants to make an argument for or against. To this day, the idea that anyone can justify the need for an assault weapon because they are an enthusiast with God-given rights seems completely stupid. I will never understand why rapid-fire guns with high capacity magazines are allowed to be manufactured for the public. It serves no societal benefit.

Still, it's clear to me that enough people disagree with my assessment. And so, we remain divided. Just as we remain divided on abortion, homosexuality, immigration, Iraq & countless other topics. I'm a believer in the two-party system. I'm also a believer in finding reasonable compromises. Our leadership is failing us.

Perhaps no law would have prevented this latest school violence. Still, I can't help but think that gun enforcement should be a priority. National databases should be kept. Laws should be enforced. Lethal weapons should, for the good of all, be controlled. I'm not advocating a total gun ban. I'm advocating that we get our heads out of our assess and think sensibly for once.

File under, I wish I was making this up...

What should you do if you find an Atheist?

And knowing is 1/2 the battle!

Finally some good football news! Muhahaha...

Vinny, older than dirt, Testaverde is joining the Panthers! Jake is out for the season and Carr is having back trouble. So, they needed a back-up for their back-up. Hurney & Fox picked Testaverde. If I pray really hard, maybe they'll tank worst than the Eagles. Does that make me a bad person or just an Eagles fan?

Perhaps you need some prospective...

As "ya'll" know, I'm a Philadelphian & die-hard Eagles fan living in the Charlotte region. Panthers fans are nice people. I hate them for that. The first thing they do when they learn that I'm an Eagles fan is complain about how the Eagles fans treated Panthers fans during that playoff game a few years back. I smile when that comes up. Stupid newbie football fans. Most of their stories start with, "Everyone warned us to not wear any Panthers gear at the game, but we just didn't believe them." I just love Charlotteans. So wonderfully naive.

When I first got to Charlotte I read the local paper and watched the nightly news every day. It's something a professor of mine taught me in grad school; learn about your new home by subscribing to the local paper for a while. It really helps. But I digress...

The big story for over a month was a rash of stolen cars from suburban neighborhoods. In almost every victim interview they admitted to leaving their car doors unlocked. Occasionally, victims or neighbors would admit to leaving their keys in their cars. Heck, some cars were stolen out of garages because people left their garage doors open all night.

This was one of my first and most lasting impressions of the good people of Charlotte. Couple this with naive Panthers fans who went to Philly in their Panthers gear, and I've just got to laugh.

In all seriousness, I really do like Charlotte and am regularly impressed -- ignoring cheerleader-gate for a moment -- with the Panthers organization. Coach Fox is generally loved by the fans and players. He keeps his team competitive even when they shouldn't be. They've got a nice stadium. I even waved a rally towel -- I didn't inhale -- in their honor at a MNF game at BoA Stadium. That said, I really do relish the idea of a Panthers implosion this season.

Perhaps I can start the cheer now...

Vinny! Vinny! Vinny!

A Reply of Sorts

My buddy Cutter wrote his own Why I Blog. I thought I would share. Apparently, I inspired him. ;-)

My Obsession With Opening Adverbs

Looking back over my blog and my other writing, I've begun to notice a trend. I love to start sentences & paragraphs with "Anyway." You may not notice because I've been trying to cut back. There are times when I proofread a post only to find that 1/2 the paragraphs start with "Anyway." I'm also fond of similar words like "yet," "nonetheless," and the dreaded opening conjunction. I just love starting a sentence with "and" or "but."

Seriously, I really like transitional words. I can't get enough of them. It's like a drug. Emotionally, I would much rather have a run on sentence than two grammatically correct sentences that didn't flow. I hate the feeling of an abrupt transition. Yet, (see there it is) I feel like this is one of the biggest hurdles of my untrained and inexperienced writing style.

I suppose this is also a huge symptom of the "anyone can do it" problem with society today. Any trained monkey can express themselves online. Screw journalists and actual writers. What do they know? A lot actually. I know a few people educated in the finer arts of prose and style. Most bloggers can't hold a candle to them. Yet, we try. (See, there it is again!)

Still, I'm learning. That's good.

Anyway, good night and good luck! ;-)

P.S. Yes, I know that I've been posting in clumps again. I'll try to spread them out more.

My Eco-Conscience Conundrum

So, as most of you know, I've worked to be "eco-friendly" for years. It's not easy in a disposable society. I don't consider myself some tree-hugging, neo-hippy or anything -- although I like granola a lot! Still, I try to do my part. I work hard to cut our electric use, recycle, compost, conserve. You know recycle, reuse, renew. Anyway, I've got a silly issue involving paper products & water conservation.

For a long time, I've been trying to significantly reduce our use of disposable paper & plastic. We use cloth grocery bags & kitchen towels. I also use a "gold filter" for the coffee maker. We have paper plates but I try really hard to not use them. This is all well and good except for this...

The Charlotte region is experiencing the worst drought conditions in decades. Along with sustained record heat. Today it was 92 deg. The average high for this time of year is 75. The heat is supposed to subside, but there's still no rain in sight.

U.S. Drought Monitor

It's bad enough that they are handing out hefty fines for people caught filling their pools or watering their lawns. It's not just talk. The fines aren't just on the books. Enforcement is taking place. Local officials are even talking about indoor restrictions.

This got me thinking about my water consumption. After dumping out our daily coffee grinds, I've got to spray the filter clean. That's a lot of water. If I switch back to paper filters, I could probably conserve more water. And that made me think about some other stuff. I can cook more meals on the grill and use paper plates. That would cut down the amount of dishes I have to wash. I can, at the very least, compost the coffee filters and plates that didn't have meat on them.

It's serious enough to consider for the time being. And thus the conundrum. Disposable is bad! We make so much trash in this society. Slick and I have worked so hard to cut back on needless waste. The idea of shifting back to disposable products after we've tried so hard to cut back feels wrong. Yet, until we get rain -- a lot of rain -- it seems like a good idea.

Oh Boo Hoo

So, the lead headline in SI.com was Bronx Bummer and the top story on ESPN.com was Goodbye, Bronx. So, the Yankees are out of the playoffs. The Joe Torre era could be over. What a shame? Who cares?

Why Blog?

This is a "why I blog" post. I've talked to a few friends about blogging and the reasons for blogging. Here's a little bit about my reasons.

A while back, I asked my Father why he didn't post his sermons online for people to read. His answer included a lot of good points including "I don't know who'll be reading it." The same goes for blogging. Last week, according to site meter, the number of visits to my blog topped 400. My first question was "who the hell are all these people?"

Apparently, people Googled my posts about listening to Phillies games online & getting digital tv over the air. Do a Google search for "digital rabbit ears." OK, so I'm on page 3, but my point is still valid.

So, the first question is solved, but it still makes me think. Remember all those crazy stories about people not getting jobs because of their MySpace pages? OK, I'm not the type of person to go nuts, get drunk and blog about it. I am, however, perfectly willing to speak my mind about the environment, equal rights, and those pesky Republicans. So, I do try to think before I post.

The truth is that I didn't start writing a blog because I wanted the world to read it. I'm also not going to stop because I'm worried about improbably reprocussions. I blog because it's been good for me. I keep it public to make it easier for my friends and family to share. I know that my parents & in-laws, really love to read my blog to keep up on us since we moved south. My dad will even call to check up if I haven't posted for a few days.

Still, I don't really think of myself as a blogger. There are plenty of great blogs out there serving up a wide range of what I call "crunchy goodness." I'm not focused. My prose is all over the place. And frankly, I'm really not all that interesting. So, why keep going? I can always email my folks or *gasp* call them. There are several answers:

- The voices in my head said to do it....Well, yes and no. I don't have voices in my head, but I do have an overactive imagination that goes non-stop even when I'm not feeling well because of the fibro (like today.) On days like this I can be hopped up on sleeping meds and still be typing away (like now.)

- My circle of "long-distance" friends is a lot bigger than my circle of local friends. The blog really is a way to keep them up-to-date. Some claim to even like my blog (usually after telling me how great my sister's blog is.) When someone wants to comment, they unusually email or call me instead of posting a comment.

- The family thing.

- Writing: So, for a long while, I've been trying to write. All the ideas that I've got stuck in my head need a place to go. I started working on a book, but got bogged down in the process. Something just wasn't/isn't working. The blog is one of my tools that I'm using to "practice" the art of writing. I think of it as marathon training. A guy with no training can't get up tomorrow and start the NYC marathon. He's got to start small: walks around the block, jogs on the treadmill, longer jogs, short runs, short races, etc. Writing for the sake of writing is important. Thus the blog. I use this, along with the copious amounts of reading I've been doing lately & random short stories or partial scenes that I've written to get a firmer grasp on how to develop a story and fill the pages.

- Ego. OK, deep down inside, I've got enough ego to believe that I have "answers" to some of life's problems. If more people listened to me the world would be a better place. The blog is my foothold into the hearts and minds of the populous. I'm starting small. ;-)

Well, there you have it. I've commented on blogging. I hope it encourages you to blog. Understand that there are pitfalls. People will read. People will wonder when your next post is coming. You will, at times, feel like you have nothing to say. Other times, you'll have too much. Then there will be times like these when you know that the Lunesta is totally working and you should stop writing or tomorrow you'll look at this crap and wonder why you hit publish...yup, that was one crap-tastic last paragraph.

Night all!

A Fungus Among Us

This humongous fungus with it's 9" diameter cap is growing in my backyard. I just had to share.

Remember, do not truffle with the humongous fungus!

Thank You Phillies

I know that a lot of my fellow Phillies fans have probably started bitching about the series sweep. Yeah, it's a shame, but I for one just want to thank the Phillies for a great season. I hope that they can continue to build on this experience. I hope that they remain hungry. I hope that they remain healthy next year.

Simply put, this year was a blast!

Link of the Day

OK, I know this is a lot of posts in one day, but I was thinking about starting a "link of the day" series. I read a lot of stuff online. Some is funny, some is series, some is crap...today's link is thought provoking.

Are U.S. Troops Being Force-Fed Christianity

Quick Synopsis: Troops are "encouraged" to immerse themselves in Christianity the same way they are indoctrinated into the armed services. The "brand" of Christianity however is purportedly a very specific "right-wing" pro-military form of Christian nationalism. The idea is not new.

My Comments: Throughout history nations have tried to create the perfect zealot. Why should we be any different? This is not the first article I've read on this subject recently, but it is the best, most well-written one. Well anyway, read, consider. I'll try and post more links as I find good stuff to share.

The War

So, I don't know if anyone else has watched it, but the new Ken Burns series, the War is excellent. We got the antenna & digital tuner just in time. I've been recording the episodes and watching them a little at a time.

I really think that the series does a tremendous job of riding the line between holding up the greatness of America while pointing out our darker side. The treatment of both Black & Japanese Americans are held up for all of us as an appalling part of our history. It is not something to be ignored. It is not something we should wallow in guilt about. Instead, we should learn.

Actually, the entire series has reminded me of a lot of things about our past that we keep forgetting. War is hell. Prejudice sucks. We can do anything if we put our minds to it.

Well, this could easily turn into a massive soapbox, but it's late and I'm tired from moving all the furniture in my computer room to fit the "new" desk.

Most PBS stations have this series on heavy rotation, so check your local listing and watch!

$15 Desk

So, between my fibro & the fact that I spend a lot of time at my desk, my tiny computer desk just wasn't working for me. There was no room for my feet and no room on top for my stuff. I've been thinking about getting something, but I didn't want to spend much money. Well, as luck would have it...

It was yard-sale Saturday in the neighborhood. As Slick and I walked the dog, we noticed two things: 1) $20 bill sitting in the middle of the street w/ nobody anywhere near it & 2) this desk for $35 at one of the yard sales.

The neighbor selling it, even "tossed" it in his pickup and drove it down the block for me. We still had to dismantle it to get it inside the computer room, but it's all setup now.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Doctor Visit

Well, I had a doctor's visit today. It went very well. He's really pleased with my weight-loss, the nutrition plan and my exercise level. He noted that we got through the summer without a single sinus infection and asked if I had any migraines recently. (These are both elements of the fibro.) I haven't! In fact, I've even had the windows open at home for 2 out of the last 3 weeks.

Anyway, Dr C made some adjustments to my medication list, which is now 1/2 as long as it was last year. Most of it is now "as needed" instead of daily. He also ordered some blood-work to check for liver problems and such. He's really serious about having regular blood-work from me to make sure that we aren't missing anything. This is yet another reason why I'm so glad we found him. He's always double-checking.

So, keep eating right, exercising, maintain the sleep schedule and control my stress-level. Done deal!

Slick is a lot more happy now than when I was working and I'm clearly a lot more healthy. Today's doctor's visit confirms that.

No Culture for You

So, read this...

School District Halts Shakespeare Production

OK, they really didn't halt Shakespeare, but rather a tribute play called "The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged.)" The audience was a group of 6th-12th graders. The reason for canceling was inappropriate language and suggestive content. Hello? It's Shakespeare! Besides, have you seen the crap that kids are watching? The "suggestiveness" of Shakespeare is a huge step up...even a play about the works of Shakespeare is a huge step up.

This play is, simply put, phenomenal. Slick and I saw it for our first anniversary (an amazing number of years ago.) It really does quote, mock and discuss every work of Shakespeare. It was clever, engaging and exactly the kind of thing that teenagers should see if you want to get them into Shakespeare. It's a hell of a lot better than reading an abridged version of Julius Caesar from a textbook (like I did when I was in 9th grade.)

Between this and Cutter's post about a school district banning bags, I'm really starting to rethink Canada.