What I learned over my Christmas vacation - Pt 1

"Diggers dig dirt!"
- Explained by MetsFanJr (Hey, this is 2-year-old philosophy at it's finest!)

"You have activities that don't require batteries?"
- The difference between me and Cainam as explained by Slick...right before she realized what she had just said.

My friends live too far away and most of them don't play WoW!

The End...or is it?!?

Be Still And Know That I Am GOD

So, Posey confused the crap out of me this week when she sent a hurried email asking "us" to come up with memories about Karen. I thought she was asking us to speak about Karen at the funeral. Heck, Posey's husband & NothingKnew also thought she was asking us to speak. This was actually not the case. Posey was asking for memories to help her prepare. She spoke today and it was wonderful. But I digress...

The exercise of planning to speak (but then not actually speaking) gave me the opportunity to reflect on Karen, my college years and my many wonderful friends. It was not easy. I didn't want to remember Karen as the frail woman in the hospital or the immaculately groomed corpse in the casket. I wanted to remember Karen's soul. After pealing back the layers of drunken debauchery, I came to her faith and her compassion. I thought about her amazing innocence. For some reason, I found myself drawn to the Gospel of Luke. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter. - Luke 18:17 And that's where I rediscovered the Karen I remembered. I remembered her silliness, her friendship and her zest for life. As the pastor pointed out today, Karen saw the beauty in everything.

Speaking of the pastor's sermon: If you're ever in Oxford, PA and need a place to worship, give Oxford Presbyterian a try. He didn't try to serve up a batch of that "it was her time" or "God called her home" crap. The message was simple: God loves Karen. We want to know why this happened, but somethings are simply beyond our human comprehension. Karen has her answers now because she is a peace with God. As he spoke, I thought about the words, Be still, and know that I am God! - Psalm 46:10

To be still and to know God is not an easy thing. Stillness requires trust. Stillness requires us to be at ease with our surroundings and to be comfortable in our own shoes. Karen never struck me as being "still." Hyper, yes. Insane, you bet ya. Still? Not so much. And yet, listening to the stories about Karen and remembering my own, there was stillness in her faith & in her love. And now, a child of God is still and I believe that she truly knows God.

But all those verses speak to me about Karen. What about me? What about us? The first verse in that wonderful Psalm also helps me this evening. I hope it helps you.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. - Psalm 46:1

In God's Country

Yes, yes, I know I said I was taking a holiday break, but I'm cranked up and need to express myself. As per usual, this trip has been "eventful." -- I love the word eventful, it's so full of potential & suspense. Eventful enables me to conjure up tails of brilliance, sorrow, silliness and in some cases all of the above. -- To say I have a lot of events to cover would be an understatement. I will not try and share everything for fear that I will not give proper weight to one tale or the next.

He's so smart I feel like my name should be Lennie Small

OK, Slick's family is so insane-smart that they turn any cliche' about farm-folk on it's head. Slick herself has a Master's degree from Yale and sometimes I wonder if she's the "slow" one.

Her cousin "BMW" does next-gen server software development for a large cable/internet provider. For years, he and I used to talk shop. Back when he was in high-school & I was actually doing on-site IT support, we had a relatively level playing field and could hold conversations. On Saturday night, I found my eyes glazing over as he's talking about redundant storage clusters using terms I've never even heard of before. Did I mention he's 24?

The Fall

"They" say that Potter County is "God's Country." Seriously, it's on the signs. I can't say this is true, but I can tell you that it's doggy paradise. My dog was beside himself with glee as he ran wild-eyed across those snow-covered fields. Unfortunately...

On Sunday morning while mulling the news about Karen, the dogs and I went for a hike up the hill. Unfortunately, on Saturday the we had a warm-spell and a bunch of rain. This was followed by a freeze-over. The snow covered fields were crusted over with ice. Coming down the hill, I found myself on section of frozen run-off. Even the dogs were sliding. I slipped, I fell, I was fine. I then took 3 steps and hit the ice before I even knew I had fallen again. The impact was bone-jarring. The ice was so thick that I didn't even leave a mark. I've now learned that a person with Fibromyaliga should never play impact sports. In addition to the slightly sprained wrist, my body went into complete pain-mode and has been that way all week. Needless to say, the rest of the dog's "walks" this week have been done from the driveway.

Christmas Eve

Christmas eve was amazing. There's so many things to choose from, but I've got to go with this one. You know those consumer electronic commercials involving separated family & video enabled computers? Well, AirForceFamily (That's Slick's cousin, pilot husband & kid) are expecting any day. They simply couldn't make the trip up. A video feed was setup via MacBooks & they participated in the gift exchange. Seriously, someone from Apple needs to get "us" to do a TV testimonial for them.

Flat Tires & Dumb Luck

Because of the funeral tomorrow, Slick and I drove to her parents' place a day early. We're here now. It's always odd living at someone's house when they are 5 hours away. But then, that's what family is all about. Anyway, we had to run out to get some supplies and discovered that a tire was flat on the Escape. Now, we could all look at this as rotten luck, but I look at this as serendipity. We made it 5 hours to their place before the tire went. And the Queen's Altima is in the garage. Since she doesn't need it, I can wait and call AAA tomorrow when we get back from the funeral.

Lying to Tech Support

So, the errand is done, I'm ignoring the flat and Slick is graciously doing a few loads of laundry. What am I doing? Setting up the Queen's new laptop & wireless router. One problem, their ISP has some wacky setup to make the modem & router talk, but they don't have it listed on their website. So, I called their 800-number. After 2-million prompts I get live tech-dude.

Poor junior IT-dude stuck on the swing shift: "What's the phone number of the customer?"

I rattle off the Queen & flyDad's* phone number.

IT-dude: "What's your name?"

I tell him flyDad's name.

IT-dude: "And what's the trouble?"

"Yes, I just got a wireless router and new laptop & I'm having trouble configuring it with your modem. I got a Linksys router as your company recommended. I'm really aching to get it setup so I can sit in my recliner and surf the web while watching sports."

"No problem *flyDad*. I can help you."

Turns out that they change the standard IP of the Linksys router. Why? No idea. Why couldn't they put this on their website? No clue what-so-ever. And yes, all their techs are trained to service Linksys. I was going to ask him if he really didn't have enough brain-power to service a Netgear, but he was being helpful and I didn't want to break character. ;-)

More mindless babble...

Well, that's about that. There were some other funny things like 6 people trying to figure out what PetDoc (the expecting member of AirForceFamily) might have used for Granny's MacBook password so it could be updated only to discover that there was no password. And yes we called PetDoc. If you only knew the number of advanced degrees in that room, you would have found the situation really funny.

flyDad* - I've been working on a nickname for my father-in-law for a while. Since my dad is iDad & Slick's dad is a rabid fly-fisher, we've got flyDad.

Sad News

I wasn't planning on posting over the holidays, but I wanted to write this now.

I'm writing from Granny's MacBook which is able to get WiFi access to Slick's Aunt's access point if you sit in the corner of the house and don't move. The farm is wonderfully covered in snow. The 11 hour drive was completely uneventful. The dog is loving it. We even get cell phone reception this year. The modern world creeps ever closer to the woods. It's a nearly perfect holiday...nearly...

Karen died last night. I go the call a few minutes ago. She did make it to Hospice but she didn't make it to Christmas. My heart cries out to her family. I don't really have anything to wear to a funeral, but I'm going to try and go. Just have to wait and find out when.

In the midst of all this pain, I'm also rejoiced because my good friends in Charlotte finally gave birth to their baby last week. Nate cost thousands of dollars and years of hardship to concieve, but now he's with us. I went to the hospital to visit with them and even got to hold him. This is one of those babies for whom the line "Isn't he beautiful?" totally applies.

My Grandmother, who died over the summer, would have been 101 today. So, I'm surrounded by news and memories of birth and death. It reminds to treat each moment as precious.

Everyone have a merry and safe Christmas.

Holiday Break

Sorry for the silence this week. I'm actually going to take a break for the holidays. I'll be traveling a lot and won't have time to sit down to post. So, have a wonderful holiday and I'll see you back here with lots to talk about in 2008.

Cheaters

In the wake of yesterday's MLB* report, the Hall of Fame discussion has begun. Do men like Clemens, Bonds & McGwire deserve to go? What does a Hall induction represent?

Unlike Olympic Medalists or Tour de France winners, the prize for winning in Baseball can not be returned or given to the runner up. How do we determine what games the Yankees should or should not forfeit? Keith Olbermann pointed out that the game would take care of itself. That records can exist and the record-holder not be recognized as one of the greatest to play the game.

I am a firm believer in the idea of justice. Justice in this case must call into account the general culpability of everyone involved, but move forward. Baseball must find a way to make restitutions to their fans and the players union must get their heads out of their asses and restore the integrity of the game. I say, leave the records but don't let them off the hook.

Mitchel is right, that active players implicated in this report shouldn't be penalized by baseball for past transgressions. BUT, the Hall of Fame voters should not give these men a free pass either. In order to be allowed into the Hall, they need to show contrition or proof of innocence. Yes, for the Hall, it should be guilty before proven innocent.

Pete Rose bet on baseball. These men cheated in the actual games. And we aren't talking about stealing a sign or having a little sandpaper in a glove, we're talking about the systematic use of drugs to improve daily performance.

Sorry, it just continues to make me sick that we've come to this. (I'm also pissed off at Floyd Landis and the entire cycling community, but that's another rant.)

And that my friends, is my final word on the whole ugly affair.

MLB*

If the era of steroids and performance enhancing drugs in baseball was a movie, today would have been the closing scene. George Mitchell is no Harrison Ford staring down the President before appearing before congress at the end of Clear & Present Danger, but his speech would be the Hollywood version of the end of this story. Alas for baseball fans, the story goes on.

I mulled this story over as I read and watched footage from many and various talking heads discuss punishment and asterisks. Within minutes of the report, there were already web-polls about the future of baseball and whether the Rocket would get into the Hall of Fame. The media loves a train-wreck, doesn't it?

As fan reactions seesaw from apathy to distrust, I notice the lack of self-reflection. Who is to blame when an iconic part of society falls apart? Society is. No, you and I did not hand the players the needles, but we certainly demanded it. The wrong that is the asterisk era of baseball is too similar to the wrong that is the mortgage crisis and the illegal immigration debate. We demand and do not ask how it is provided as long as it's cheap, available or (in the case of baseball) entertaining. When the dirt piles so high that we can not ignore it any longer, we ask with feigned innocence "How did this get here?" and then seek someone to blame. It's those damn immigrants. It's the mortgage brokers. It's the oil companies. It's Barry Bonds. We dare not ask, "Is it me?"

And so, for me MLB* becomes a new symbol of our fall from grace. It is proof that we can even take the joy of baseball and the ingenuity of science and pervert it. Sin finds a way.

Oddly enough, the sinners will probably not be cast out of the garden. Perhaps some will not see paradise (Cooperstown), but it's nearly impossible to punish any of these men without turning blame back to baseball itself.

And what of my own relationship with Baseball? Will these events mark the end of my love of the game? Will Baseball be shelved along with Hockey? No. Baseball is too much a part of my makeup to walk away from now. To abandon it would be to lay all the blame on baseball and ignore my own culpability as a fan. And frankly, the "news" of this story ended years ago. We've all known that there's CHEATING (there I've said it) in baseball for years. Now, the skeletons are out in the open. Hopefully, the healing can begin.

Still, the game for me will never be the same. And, baseball must change. The people in the business of baseball must fix the sport or many of us may say enough is enough.

Say it ain't so Roger!

You didn't listen and now look, even more 80's redux

K.I.T.T. is returning. He's going to be a Shelby GT5000KR Mustang. I've been warning my small, but faithful readership that something must be done, but did anyone listen? Now look, we've got even more 80's TV returning. What's next?

The Return of Knight Rider

Something's got to be done! If a presidential candidate starts running on a "fight off the 80's" platform, I'll campaign for him...or her!

Meditation and Fibromyalgia

It's been a while since I did a full-fledged post about my fibro. I've made random comments about it, like in my last post when I mentioned being in a lot of pain this week. Overall, I'm doing well. My pain management, diet & sleep schedule have generally been working well enough to allow me to function in my new limited "house husband" role. I have to pace myself through the day and through the week, but as the months go by I am doing more and more. There are some exceptions. After long trips (like Thanksgiving) I'm forced to take several days to recover. My body will build up tension from days of driving and I don't release it naturally. I also still have stretches of pain flair-ups. Usually, these are triggered by seemingly innocuous physical exertion. In this most recent case, it was raking leaves.

I did fall/winter yard clean-up on Friday. I got help from my neighbor (the landscaper.) He was arriving home from a day of working and saw me. He knows about my condition and decided to come over to help. This was both good and bad. It was good because it was done in a 1/4 of the time. It was bad because I didn't pace myself like I should have. By the time we were done, my arms were slightly numb, but my neck seemed OK so I was hopeful. By Saturday night it was all over. My neck lost most motion, my right shoulder was numb and painful enough that I couldn't carry laundry and the numbness was spreading throughout my body. This hasn't happened for months, but it's par for the course. What to do now? Like a normal person over-doing-it at the gym, sleep aids, pain killers, hot-pads all help to a point. Unlike a normal person who simply over-did-it, my body can take days or weeks to get back to normal. It's as if I have to slowly release the pent-up energy.

This is where stress management techniques help. By mentally relaxing, I encourage my body to physically relax. Since, again, fibromyalgics do not seem to release physical tension normally, anything that lowers the heart rate, calms/distracts the mind and generally loosens me up helps a lot. Walking while listening to folk music helps. Reading (when I can sit comfortably) helps. One trick I've experimented with is guided meditation.

There are tons of free guided meditation resources on the web. Like anything on the web, there's good and bad. The other real problem for me is the culture of the meditation and yoga crowd. It took me a while, but I finally found two series of podcasts that work for me.

The first is The Meditation Podcast. They use a combination of guided imagery and relaxing nature sounds. They also try really hard to be "non-denominational" and keep from getting all new-age on me. My only real stink is with the session titled "Falling Asleep." It does a good job of relaxing me step by step, but then it switches gears in such a way that I start to wake up mid-way through the thing. What's the point of trying to put me to sleep if you're going to wake me up? So instead I use their 20 minute "Calming the Body" piece when I need to relax during the day and use this next podcast for sleep.

The second podcast is from Meditation Oasis. The guide does get a bit new-aged on me. So, I use just one of the sessions called "Deep Relaxation." It's just a quick 7 minute breathing exercise. I listen anytime I need it, but also as part of my pre-bed routine. I listen to a short audio podcast from NPR or a short story, followed by some Wailin' Jennys and then the relaxation thing.

Admittedly, my problem is that I let myself slip when I'm feeling well and only reach for meditation when I'm not. The things I've read about my condition suggests that relaxation techniques aren't just ways to relieve symptoms, but also make for good preventative care. Just like my new dietary changes and the daily exercise, I should try and do guided meditation daily.

Well, that's my story for today. If you live a stressful life or if you have a chronic physical condition, consider adding some type of meditation to your life. There are options out there that don't require you to buy into or listen to new-age mumbo-jumbo. You just have to look.

Winter Survival in the South

Slick and I are Northerners. We love snow. No, we don't love shoveling it or trying to drive in it, but we love it none-the-less. So, how do we survive living in a place where it might snow 2-times a year and melt before noon? Well, we make certain to enjoy the other benefits. Today, for example, with my fibro-induced neck pain in full force, I'm enjoying the deck in my shorts.


WiFi for blogging & surfing, iPod full of relaxing music and a nice cup of joe. I think I can live without snow. :-)

Yes, I got him to post!

I have a confession to make. The reason for my rant today "because 'they' aren't 'our enemies" was a bit over-stated. I don't have the readership to create a critical mass of reactions. Rather, I was drawing from both the blog and from my real-life experiences. So, why post such a rant?

Firstly, I've been wanting to rant about this point for some time. It's become a regular road-trip discussion for Slick and me. There really is a lot of "Us vs Them" occurring in our country. My friends and family really do react to even the slightest hint for support of the other side's ideas and policies. The unfortunate truth is that there's a lot of good reasons for their reactions.

The second reason for my post was to goad NothingKnew (NK) into a response on his blog. Apparently, it worked, as evident by his post Us Bleeding Heart Liberals. Since the two of us really sit on the same side of the fence, we certainly can't debate politics. But I really wanted to see if I could get him to launch into something insightful. He doesn't post enough (he's really busy, so it's understandable) but he's really got the ability to become a first-rate over-the-top commentator. So, while I was honest, I was also pushing buttons.

NK makes several good points in response to my worst-case scenarios but missed the reason for them. It's our fear of these worst-case scenarios that are central to our inability to work together. Gun advocates are so afraid that we will take their guns from them that they refuse to give any ground even in the face of real statistics. They only see their worst-case fears. The same is true for abortion rights advocates. We (and I include myself in this camp) refuse to give any ground because we are afraid that the old draconian reality of back-alley abortions will return, the age of the giant orphanage filled with unwanted children will return and that women will not have any say in the treatment of their own bodies.

Are these fears reasonable? Well, my "common sense" (note what I said about common sense in the last post) tells me that these things can't possibly come to pass. But then, I would have never dreamed that we would get ourselves into a Vietnam-situation less than 40 years after the first time.

He is also right about needing a thick skin to blog. Someday, for better or for worst, my readership and traffic may increase enough to get real responses. If you've ever gone to a popular political blog you'd know what I'm talking about. Actually, if you read Fake Steve Job's blog, you would know that he's had some problems recently from an obnoxious comment about gun owners. So, a thick skin indeed.

So, thank you NK for responding. Your friends and loyal readers want to read more!

Because "They" Aren't "Our" Enemy

I'm a bleeding-heart, liberal Democrat. Everyone that knows me, knows this. Yet, I work really hard to not deal in absolutes. I believe in looking at all sides of a story. I know from experience that my way is not always the best way. Lately, whenever I say or write anything that doesn't outright flame a right-leaning idea, my liberal friends come down on me. It's like a Pavlovian response. Even neutral statements are taken as "pro" statements.

It's easy to rationalize this reactionary behavior because the current occupant and his supporters are so full of Zeal and so unquestionably wrong, that even folks in the middle go running to the left to curse and spit at anything he or the religious right have to say.

At some point, we've got to stop reacting like victims. We've also got to stop looking across the isle at our fellow Americans and seeing enemies.

This is where my friends will tell me that we can't possibly let our guard down. They see it as a sign of weakness and pounce like a pack of wolves. Before we know it, we'll have Oliver Twist style workhouses, back-alley abortions, scarlet-lettered homosexual communities, grannies packin' heat & Latino ID cards.

This absurd vision is only matched by the vision of America that the far right has of a left-controlled America. We'll just call it 1960's-style Soviet Russia for the sake of brevity.

Don't get me wrong. Zeal must be matched with equal energy and effort. I believe that men like Mike Huckabee must not be president. I believe that Intellegent Design is the work of the devil! Seriously, I really fervently believe that Creationism as science (in all it's forms) is proof that the devil still weaves his sweet-poison into the minds of my fellow Christians. He tried the Crusades & the Inquisition; now his trying something more subversive...but I digress.

So, for the record all the following ideas are always good ones:

Fiscal conservatism is good for our country. The ideas of low-taxes, streamlined government and essential services need to be encouraged. The people spreading this concept are bold-faced liars, war-mongers and hypocrites, but that doesn't make the concept wrong.

Individual Liberty is essential foundation to our constitution. As are the rights to bear arms, the right to free speech and the right to privacy. Both sides of the fence constantly screw this up. The fact that a confirmed racist is leading this charge doesn't make this concept wrong. That's not to say that these rights should not have appropriate boundaries. Automatic weapons & the proliferation of concealed weapons is not a good thing. Hate speech is not a good thing. Getting too much privacy when you're both proliferating your guns and spewing hate...clearly not a good thing!

Standardized tests would in-fact be good for this country if they were designed and implemented by actual educators!

Wait, that was the liberal in me talking again. Well, since the liberal is out, let's talk...

Taxes, Social Services, Libraries & Schools are ALL good for our country. Seriously, this Republic for which I stand needs these services in order to continue to be the country for which I stand.

The separation of Church and State protect both the Church and the State. This should neither be treated as an excuse to kill Christmas NOR as an excuse to implement school prayer. This is also proof that "common sense" is a bold-faced lie. There's no such beast. There are no common sense solutions to the question of Church & State. The best way I know that this separation is working is that it's constantly being debated. This also covers the test of free speech.

I could go on like this for a while. My point, however, is this. Yes, point out when I don't know all the facts. BUT NO, stop looking at every idea that doesn't come from the approved list of liberals are being bad. Good lord, the Current Occupant is right about the need for a real guest worker program. *Gasp* I'm going straight to liberal hell for that one.

Closing Shot: As proof to my unwavering allegiance to the "click here to vote ALL Democrat" side, read this great blog post from Daily Kos called With God On Our Side. (Actually, add Daily Kos to your RSS feed.) My buddy NothingKnew linked it earlier today. Since this rant was partially brought on by him, I thought I would simply point out that he's generally right and that the blogs he reads are excellent.

Anywhere from 2 to 10 days

Well, today we took the first step in doing away with our traditional landline phone.

Why did we finally do it? Well, after months of not wanting to deal with the headache of contacting all our utilities, credit cards, church, etc...we learned that our phone number qualifies under the new phone number portability law. So, we keep the number! (Thanks Cainam for the idea!)

Oddly, it will take anywhere from 2 to 10 days to complete. The guy at the store was rather matter-of-fact about it. One day next week our landline will stop working and the cell phone will receive the calls. When? Well, 2 to 10 days. Duh!

Since the phone is my old cell (which was 6 months old due to a free replacement for a broken one) is the new number, the process cost us nothing. We just pay $10 more a month for a separate "home" phone number with voicemail & caller ID. That's a lot better than the $35 we were paying for all those services. And frankly, $35 was a lot to pay to receive daily telemarketing calls. Everyone of consequence calls our personal cells.

I'll keep you posted on how this all works out.

Side Note: "Nature Boy" Ric Flair was also making some cell phone changes today. Ric and I seem to frequent the same shops and restaurants. When I was still working, he and I were in the line at Starbucks more than once. We've eaten at Dean & Deluca's at the same time. And we both use the same Verizon Wireless Store. I should really introduce myself. I never see anyone else I know around here. Maybe we should grab a beer or something.

Rehash of Ron

If you don't read comments, you may not have noticed the helpful link from Nothing Knew. Take a look at the information here titled Ron Paul's Race Problem. It's unfortunate that the ideals expressed on Mr Paul's website do not seem to match up with his own believes. Indeed, Mr Paul's statement on racism holds a layer of truth.

So, on one hand we have Mr. Paul's PR machine saying, " The collectivist mindset is at the heart of racism." And on the other hand we have him back in 1992 saying, "I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal."

So, if he's right and the collectivist mindset is "at the heart" then he too is at the heart by making such a sweeping statement. It's sad really. While I would have never entertained voting for a Libertarian, I was heartened to see a Libertarian voice in the picture reminding us about the foundations of our Democracy.

In conclusion...

Dear Mr. Paul, My hope for America is that men like you fade into nothingness so that true freedom & liberty reign.

Pearl Harbor

Let us never forget that on this date in history, brave men and women died defending our liberty. From their sacrifice, a nation rose up and through communal sacrifice made the world safe once more. From the ashes of one of our nation's darkest hours came one of our greatest triumphs.

Decision '08 - Random Observations

Today's post is going to be a mix of random observations and thoughts about the current presidential campaign landscape. The amazing thing about the lastest stuff I've read and seen is that none of it touches on the actual issues: The Economy, The Environment and the War. (Those are my big 3 that I'm voting on, BTW.)

Mitt "Mormon" Romney's Speech: I didn't watch it, but I've gotten a lot of reports about it. No, this was not Romney's Kennedy moment. The bottom line is that Romney needs the Evangelical Republican block to win. Evangelicals are apparently really frightened by Mormons. Look, my own prejudices about Mormonism aside, Romney's not one of those weird zealots you see on Dateline. Frankly, Christians who consider themselves Pluralist, Democrats, Scientists or all of the above should be a lot more concerned about Huckabee than they ever should about Romney. Romney is the closest thing to a centrist that the Republicans have. We could do a lot worse than him.

NPR has been talking a lot about diversity and the presidency this month. If nothing else, having a Mormon, a Black Man and a Woman as serious candidates has been good for this country.

Fred "Just an Actor" Thompson: Whew. Before he entered the race, his spin machine did a good job painting him the next Ronald Regan. My friends are very divided on the historic impact of Regan, but damn the man was popular and so where his politics. Thank goodness Fred's a complete waste of hot air.

Rudy "Don't even need to list his last name" Giuliani: Rudy should never have become a candidate. His "good" name would have stayed good and his skeletons would have remained in the closets. I like Rudy as the guy who rallied this nation after 9/11 (because the current occupant sucked ass at it.) Rudy's still a player in this one, but the recent girlfriend & dog walking reports will probably cost him the endorsement. Am I saddened by this? No. Rudy was the guy I feared the most in the general election. He's got the best chance of stealing Democrat votes.

Mike "Un-Intelligent Design" Huckabee: 'Nuff Said!

Hillary "Ice Water in her Veins" Clinton: Hillary's got two big news stories of late.

First: The nut-job -- I mean -- man needing professional help . Hillary won the "cool under pressure" test with the first, but she's in dangerous territory on the second.

Second: Going after Obama. How many of us would be satisfied with a Clinton/Obama ticket? (I would and I'm an Obama supporter.) How hard would that be if the attacks go too far?

Barack "Caucus Killer" Obama: Oprah endorsed him. What's the real stuff in the news? His get out the vote campaign encouraging Non-Resident College Students in Iowa to vote in the caucus. Iowa is up in arms! He's destroying the caucus! Oh, the morality! Oh, the complexity! Oh, the gravity! Oh, give me a break!

Ron "Road Signs" Paul: Driving home through South Carolina from our hiking excursion the other week, I became vaguely aware of these words playing through my head over and over again, "Ron Paul for America." Suddenly, it dawned on me why. At every small town. At every major cross-roads. EveryFUCKINGwhere, was a sign that read "Ron Paul for America." I hate little "teporary" road signs. I think they are a symbol for everything that's wrong with American.

Still, this worked. I had heard about Ron Paul, but mostly as a sound-bite. So, I looked him up. He's a Republican from Texas. Or at least, that's his official political affiliation. Dude, he's a Libertarian. Heck, he's a Libertarian's Libertarian. He hates all things Big Government. This is not to say I disagree with him on all things. But I've always believed in the ideals of government as a place where people can come together. Not Ron Paul. Mr Paul's message should not be "Ron Paul for America." He should borrow from history and use "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death!"

Conclusion: Well, that about wraps it up for this time. As the weeks drag on and the news gets more interesting, I'll be sure to share my observations again. Until then, remember Voting is your civic duty. Vote earns you the right to complain. If you don't vote, shut up!

Update: Hams for Hanukkah

OK, here's an actual news story about the Chanukah (Hanukkah) Ham picture.

Hams for Hanukkah

The even more hysterical part is that the offending store was in Manhattan. I figured it would have come from a place with very little diversity, but NYC is incredibly multicultural with a large Jewish population. Well apparently, stupid is as stupid does.

Today's WTF: It's for Chanukah, that makes it Kosher right?

Some of you have already seen today's WTF. It got such a great response, I figured it has to be shared. I'm still searching for the original source. I got it from a friend on my WoW guild forum.


Optional Captions include:

- Mmmm...Forbidden Ham!
- I can serve this with latkahs, right?

Eagles Season - Thank Goodness That's Over

While theoretically not eliminated from the playoffs, we can pretty much call this season over for the Eagles. Happiness is a train wreck that you don't have to watch anymore. Simply put, if the Giants win one more game, we are eliminated from the playoffs.

If by some stroke of madness, the Giants were to get swept in the last 4 games, the Eagles would still need to win ALL their games AND hope that Detroit, Minnesota & Arizona all go .500 for the rest of the season. And that still doesn't keep them from getting eliminated.

Under these conditions, here's what I would do: Put McNabb on Injured Reserve for the rest of the season and let the rookie get some snaps. This doesn't preclude McNabb coming back during the next camp and "winning" back his starting job.

Please, won't someone stop the 80's?

Last week, I commented on the upcoming return of American Gladiators. Sad but true. Today while scanning through my RSS feed, I learned about the return of another 80's phenomena, Rambo. Who can forget the great 1982 movie staring Sly and Brian Dennehy that brought increased attention to the plight of our nation's Vietnam Vets through over-sensationalized, Hollywood-explosions?

Much like the great classic Rocky, Sly's follow-up films went on a downward spiral. Rambo went from being a icon of everything wrong with this country to a late Cold-War source of American propaganda. Rambo II taught us that Vietnam is still unfinished business and that we still had a job to do. Rambo III taught us that Afghanistan was overrun by those damn communists. Won't someone please help? Enter John Rambo who tells the Russian officer, "I'm your worst nightmare!"

Still, I would be a liar if I said I didn't eat these movies up. I was a teenager at the time and Hollywood was feeding me a never-ending supply of violent action movies. This was the age of Robocop, Rambo, Aliens...& Arnold reigned supreme.

So, here we are back to present day. Sly appears to be reinventing himself by going back in time. First there was Rocky Balboa.

-- tangent alert --

Admittedly, I Netflix'ed it. It was *ahem* good. I mean, I liked all of it except the actual fight. The fight was crap. Seriously, it was a story about a man mourning his wife and looking back over his life. The mood, the cinematography, the characters were all surprisingly well done. Really, if you liked the first Rocky, rent Balboa. Simply turn it off before the fight. The fight was a completely different movie.

-- end tangent --

Now there's Rambo going to Burma. Much like Rocky, the trailer suggests that Rambo has "retired" and is driven back into action by a bunch of do-gooders try to sneak into Burma --Probably a film crew-- to bring attention to the situation there. Clearly, Sly and the gang intend to do it their way. To put it another way...

"Who do you think this man is? The Lord?"

"No. God would have mercy. He won't."

Please Sly, have mercy on us. Go back to running your Hard Rock Cafe'. Don't suck me into your new Rambo movie, please!

Billy King is out! Now if we could just get rid of Ed!

Sixers fire GM/President Billy King after 10 years with the team.

It came about 7 years too late!

Look, I don't wish for anyone to get fired, but Billy has been bad news for Philly. He was a fine understudy to Pat Croce and an even better puppet for Larry Brown. Once those two were out we saw how completely ineffective Billy really was. Yes, his task was daunting, but too many bad decisions later and here we are.

Frankly, I think that his boss, Ed Snyder is simultaneously one of the best and worst things to happen to Philly sports. On one hand, he almost single-handedly built Comcast SportsNet, the great arena on Broad Street and the franchises that play there-in. On the other hand, He refused to consider Croce's desire to run the entire business and then stuck with Billy King for way too long.

However, Ed is also the man I blame the most for killing my last bit of love for Hockey. What am I talking about? The Eric Lindros vs Bobby Clarke train wreck. Is it Ed or Bobby's fault that Lindros had all those concussions? No. Is it their fault that Lindros was represented by one of the worst agents (Daddy Lindros) ever? No. But while Bobby Clarke might have been the greatest hockey player in Flyers history, he was the biggest dick as team GM.

Clarke was responsible for destroying team chemistry during the Lindros spiral. Clarke was responsible for players not wanting to play in Philly. Clarke just didn't understand that coaches can be dicks, but GM's need to be bridge-builders. I heard too many stories (and several first-hand accounts) of Clarke treating people like shit.

And so I blame Ed. Why? He's loyal to a fault. He built up two great franchises and then let them crumble because he let loyalty and past results blind him to the fact that sometimes change is necessary. He held onto Clarke & King for too long, but failed to keep Croce (at his prime) because he didn't want to give someone else that much control. He let the Lindros years leave a bad taste in the mouths of Flyers fans everywhere and he allowed King to drag the Iverson year on for 2-3 years too long.

OK, now I really start to ramble...

The intervening years between the Lindros affair and now were the nail in the coffin for me and hockey. The strike and the bad TV deal sealed it. I have more interest in NASCAR than hockey now. (Which is to say I have no interest in hockey what-so-ever, but I live in NASCAR country so I get details whether I want to or not.)

Looking back, this is the hell that makes the life of a Philly sports fan. We chew up players and spit them out. Lindros fell apart here. Scott Rolen, one of the finest men in sports, was driven out of town. Donovan McNabb was booed coming into town and the way things are going he'll be booed on the way out too. Charles "Not a Role Model" Barkley ran screaming. The great Mike Schmidt survived, thank goodness. Iverson is still beloved by Philly for reasons that escape me.

Well at least that hell is over. Can't wait to see what new kinds of terror Snider and Ed Stefanksi put me through.

It's just a hike in the woods, what could possibly go wrong?

Slick, Maxie-Moose & I headed over to Kings Mountain National Park yesterday for a few hours of hiking. It was a truly beautiful day with bright sun-shine and temperatures in the low 50's. This, IMHO, is perfect hiking weather.

All the leaves had completed their annual suicide plunge, requiring us to pay extra attention to the trail-markers. The dog was being extra good, thus affording him extra off-the-leash time. He romped in and out of the stream. How he could stand the cold water is beyond me. We picnicked on a bench someone made deep in the woods. It was beautiful.

We had been out for about 2 hours (including lunch.) Slick was admitting to being a bit tired and my legs were starting to ache. Since we were about a mile from the car, we started heading back.

Max was in the stream again, but came running when I called him. He arrived, dutifully, at my side. Everything was "perfect." My wife was smiling. My dog was loyal and trustworthy. This is the moment where the "wrong" happened.

We never saw that which Max caught wind, but I assume it was deer. He went into full track mode, bolted down the trail and then off into the woods.

Later, I mused that his usual quarry doesn't cause this kind of problem since squirrels & rabbits make it into the trees or down into holes (or are caught and eviscerated.) Deer, on the other hand, simply run and run and run.

With-in 30 seconds he's gone. Out of sight and clearly not paying any attention. I say to Slick, "Stay here" and go up the ridge after him. I'm glad Slick stayed on the trail. The trail simply vanished by the time I was 30 feet away. If not for the contour of the land or the fact that there was a stream nearby I would have been completely reliant on my sense of direction within minutes. And that's problematic since all my focus was on finding Max.

I hiked out, but not too far, until I got to the top of a hill looking over a small gully. There I stood calling and blowing the whistle I keep in my pack for "emergencies." Finally, after what felt like ages (approximately 20 minutes) I started back to Slick. We regrouped and assessed our options. All the thoughts about sundown, the park closing, leaving without my dog came into my mind. Just when I wondered if I would actually have to face some stark reality, we heard a frantic bark from down the trail.

Max, looking a bit disheveled, had finally made it back but to the spot where he left us. Unable to find us he panicked and started to call out. Copious amounts of treats were consumed. (If I had caught him, he would have gotten a spanking. His returning on his own had to be rewarded.)

Poor Slick. I drug her to the woods to help her unwind and forget about work. Instead, her heart was pounding. (Mine too.)

In the end, everyone made it home safely. We were all exhausted. I walked an extra mile. Max ran an extra few? Still, safe and together is all that matters. ...Stupid dog!...