Exercising My Demons

I've not been posting a lot lately. There's a lot to say about "why." It started with writer's block. I would find a subject to write about and become completely inarticulate. Posts, even bad ones, would not flow. Then in turned into a disinterest in posting about anything.

This blog, first and foremost, has been a place for me to channel my frustrations about my health. Even posts having nothing to do with my fibromyalgia often flow from it. The blog is my outlet. It's been a purpose in a purposeless existence.

No, I'm not trying to depress you.

My mother-in-law, the wise woman that she is, suggested something profound to me recently. The writer's block is a good thing. I forget her exact words, but it boils down to this...

I needed to talk and now I don't.

What does that mean? This blog has been like a therapist in my life. It was my "keep a journal" project. I had finally found the right job, our lives were headed exactly where we wanted to go, things were great and then my health made it all go away. I gave up "everything" to get healthy and focus on the things that matter. It was a very painful decision, but continues to look like the right one.

And so it happened. I stopped having to talk about "it."

Unfortunately, that's also meant that I don't need to vent about the economy, comment on the new "first dog," or share my sadness on the passing Harry Kalas. I see this writer's block as a good thing, but it's also created new concerns.

This blog has always served three purposes.

1) A place for me to work through things, "exercise my demons."
2) A place for my family & friends to check up on us.
3) A place to write.

I'm done exercising my demons through this blog. I can find other ways of writing. But what about my readership?

My plan is to go silent from blogging for a month or so. There are other things I've been devoting my blogging & feed-reading to - mostly exercise.

Exercise - daily - focused - even when I'm in a lot of pain or suffering from fatigue - but careful exercise has become the next major step in managing my health. It's the one post I still have left in me, but doesn't need to be written.

Simply put: the Wii Fit is an amazing piece of technology.

When/if I return, this blog will probably undergo a face lift and become focused on things like "vacation photos" and blurbs about home-improvement projects. I may even look for another online home.

This is not goodbye from blogging. This is shalom.

OMG WTF AIG part 2

So, this AIG exec has turned in his resignation in the NYT. He's giving his $742M bonus to charity. He feels "unfairly persecuted by elected officials."

Read his letter in the NYT-OpEd section here.

You can decide for yourself.

OMG WTF AIG

A.I.G. Chief Asks Bonus Recipients to Give Back Half

Ever gotten a "bonus" at your job? Maybe it was enough to to cover a down payment on a new car or pay off a credit card. Did it feel good to be rewarded for your efforts? Maybe your department or even whole company had an "off year" but you performed well and were encouraged to work harder because of it.

When I heard about the A.I.G. bonuses, I wanted to believe that most of the $165M in bonuses were to folks like you or me. Hard-working middle-class people who got a little extra in these hard economic times. Yeah...not so much.

Of the 418 employees who received bonuses, 298 got more than $100,000, according to the New York attorney general, Andrew M. Cuomo. The highest bonus was $6.4 million, and 6 other employees received more than $4 million. Fifteen other people received bonuses of more than $2 million and 51 received $1 million to $2 million.

It baffles me. It knocks the wind out of me. It was shocking that the company gave out bonuses. Harder still to believe that these "bonuses" were clearly not tied to actual performance, but instead contractual. And still, none of that bothered me, angered me, as much as the actual per-person pay outs.

How is this shit not criminal?

I don't have a problem with people being rich. But good grief.

I could go on, at length, with an even more curse-laden diatribe but you get the idea...

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Who Will Save Us?

Funny story here. Just a few days ago I was in an email chain describing my relationship with my friend "Cainam." It went like this...

Don Quixote had Sancho Panza! Shrek had Donkey. I can't go chasing windmills without Cainam.


Note: For some reason, I can't seem to adjust this picture to fit in my blog. Just click the image to read the whole thing. Also, if you don't already, read XKCD!

The New Symbol of America's Troubles

This from MSNBC...

Eagle survives crash through windshield

It may not be a Bald Eagle & that truck might not be the mortgage crisis, but it's the perfect symbol of this entire debacle. The truck windshild is fucked up. The bird's face is messed up too. But both are getting patched up.

So, remember as you watch Citi fall below a $1 a share, watch in awe as unsubstantiated fear rips health GE stock prices down the toilet & GM's living on a respirator and waiting for someone to pull the plug on bankruptcy.

The Eagle Lives! It lives in spite of all those moronic talkers on CNBC & Fox. It has been hit by the runaway truck of American excess & greed, and it's going to live to fight another day!

And never forget this isn't your daddy's Bald Eagle. He's the jackass driving the buss taking America to Hell. No this bird is our Golden Eagle. For we too feel like we've been hit by a truck. And if that golden can recover to fly someday, then so can we.

P.S. Dear Political Talking Heads! Fuck you too! Instead of being rabble inducers who talk out of your asses, try helping the President save the Eagle (that's us) from the truck!

Always make posts like this...on sleep meds...teatering on the edge of passing out...unable to think clearly...It's how Wallstreet's been managing our money all these years, and look how well their doing. The've gotten bonuses for screwing up all our lives. I wondered what their soul cost them?

Power

That storm system that swept across the eastern seaboard dumped about 4-5 inches of snow on us. That's saying a lot for the southern tip of North Carolina. There are just enough salt trucks in the region to hit the major interstates, but our town's snow plan is to wait for it to melt.

Around 9AM, just as the sun came out, the whole town of Waxhaw lost power. It stayed off until about 4PM. The house got down to about 55 Deg. Just as I was about to "free" my car (garage door opener didn't work) & drive to a mall or the library, the power came back on. It stayed on until about 5:30 then dropped for another hour. Hopefully, that'll be it for the night. But, we are taking some precautions.

I've gotten out the flashlights. Since the temperature outside is predicted to be in the teens tonight, we're cranking the heat for the rest of the evening.

It totally makes you think about people who lose power in ice-storms for days on end. I mean, no coffee, no computer, no heat is frustrating, but I didn't really suffer. I spent the day in a sunny room reading. I could "escape" anytime I wanted. Some folks aren't so lucky.

Wall Street? What About Pro Sports Pay?

Let's see...

Redskins land Haynesworth for 7 years, $100 Million

The Dodgers and Manny are fighting over $25 Million (for 1 year)

Jayson Werth's winter contract is worth $10 Million for 2 years.

$20 Million here, $10 Million there. Where's the outrage when sports stars ask for such money? Sure, they aren't responsible for the economy. But the players & the people who employ them are just as guilty of milking us. We can't watch most of their games without paid television services. The tickets, parking & food is too expensive for a family of one. We're forced to fund their new stadiums with local tax dollars under the threat that they'll move somewhere else.

When the owner of Lowes Motor Speedway wanted to build a drag strip, the town of Concord, NC didn't want it. So, he just threatened to move. Next thing you know, not only did he get to build his drag strip, the town helped.

We're so enthralled with and dependent on our sports that they have a strangle-hold on us. Yet, as we sink players like Manny Ramirez can demand millions. A-Rod, Bonds, Big-Mac. They cheated, but A-Rod is still playing. And you can bet that Bonds & Big-Mac would be too if they were still young enough.

Marbury acts like a complete jackass in New York and what does he get? He gets to join the world champion Celtics for a $20 Million contract buyout & a minimum veteran's salary of $1.3 Million.

The players aren't the only ones I blame here. They are just one part of the great sports machine that's milking us for all we're worth. Will the economy get bad enough that fans stop paying for their fancy channels & cramped seats? What then? Will the NFL be asking for a bail-out? Will NASCAR be begging for fuel-subsidies?

I've grown weary of it. Maybe I should start following my local little-league teams.