Sword of Kings & Groomsmen

And now, without further ado, I present to you Anduril - Sword of King Aragorn (& LRNs.)

A Pocket Full of Posey

Another one of my college crew has started a personal blog about life, family and walking in memory of Karen. I didn't want to pressure her so I haven't added her to my blogroll. But, she's been posting for several weeks and it looks like she's serious. So, here's my official shout-out to her! She's one of my dearest friends and a lot smarter than I am. If she keeps it up, she'll probably have a better blog than mine.

Keep it up!

A Pocket Full of Posey

My Favorite Rub

As noted on my last post, I'm finally caving to pressure and posting some stuff on cooking. Due to repeated recipe requests, I'm going to start with Jamaican Jolt.

Jamaican Jolt
From the Barbecue! Bible: Sauces, Rubs & Marinades by Steve Raichlen

• 2/3 cup (packed) dark brown sugar
• 1/2 cup coarse salt
• 1/4 cup freeze-dried chives
• 2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons onion powder I actually use onion flakes
• 2 tablespoons garlic powder
• 1 to 4 teaspoons chili powder
• 1 tablespoon dried thyme
• 2 teaspoons ground allspice
• 2 teaspoons ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 teaspoon dried ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Just mix this stuff up and put it into a small container. Sprinkle a little on your chicken or pork before grilling. It works best if you put it on 20-30 minutes before cooking, but I've tossed it on moments before cooking with great success.

A note about salt and sugar: Both are really central to the rub. But fear not! This is a fairly large batch of rub. The actual amount of used in an actual meal isn't much. Still, I've found that the salt can be reduced (use 1/4 cup instead) without ruining the meal.

Here's a 30 minute meal for you. It's one of Slick's favorite meals.

Grilled Pork with Rice & Spinach Salad

• Boneless Pork - cubed
• Skewers (metal or wooden)
  
• Jolt seasoning
• Rice
• Spinach Salad
  

Spinach Salad

• Spinach
• Red Onions
• Mixed Peppers
• Carrots
• Dried Cranberries
• Feta Cheese
• Olive Oil
• Balsamic Vinegar

Start rice & fire up the gas grill. Take some boneless pork chops, cube them, sprinkle the seasoning on them and skewer them. (Note: if you use wooden skewers, make sure to pre-soak them in water so they don't burn.) Set those aside. Chop veggies for salad. When rice is mostly done, cook the pork-kabobs on high heat turning often. It should only take 5-10 minutes. Toss the salad w/ oil & vinegar. Serve the pork right on top of the rice and salad on side. It's quick, easy & a surprisingly healthy meal.

A note about the collective works of Steven Raichlen: Raichlen's Barbecue Bible series is a must read for grill & BBQ enthusiasts. He also has a PBS show called "BBQ-U" which has taught me a lot about how to manage grill-heat both from my gas & charcoal grills. Almost all of my best BBQ recipes are either inspired by or directly from his books. I don't care if you've been grilling for years or are brand-new to it. You will learn something from him.

New Label Topic

Various friends and family have been asking me to give them some of my recipes. These requests range from my BBQ rubs & wings to quick & healthy dinner menus. Some stuff is from books and some are my own creations. The difficulty with the stuff from books & magazines is the copyright rules. I will give credit where due and hope that's enough.

Then there's the stuff I've created. Frankly, I cook like I live. I create and I experiment. If I come up with something good, I repeat it. My chili is never the same twice. I rarely measure. So, writing stuff down is going to be a challenge. Still, my best meals involve simple, "mostly" healthy, natural & fresh ingredients. This should translate well.

Finally, a note to the anti-salt crowd. I use it. I also use sugar. Since I avoid salt, processed foods & sugar for every other meal, I don't worry about this kind of stuff. I will try and note when these ingredients are optional & when they are IMHO required.

The new label is called "Eats" after the Alton Brown show "Good Eats."

Next post...my favorite rub.

Because It's A Small World Afterall

Yesterday we went to church w/ the Queen & flyDad. They've been bugging us to meet their pastor...long story for another time... Anyway, the pastor's son was being baptized, so another pastor was visiting to help. In an "it's a small world" turn of events, the visiting pastor was the associate pastor from St Matthews, York. Yes that's right, the church we were at on Saturday for Avouz's wedding. We all got a chuckle telling him that he has a nice church.

She Got Carded and Complained to Daddy

Baby, I know you're Irish and this is an Irish Pub,
but you're not getting Guinness!
Now drink your juice!

I'm usually a shutter bug, but I sadly didn't get a lot of shots this weekend. I was too busy. I hope this little gem makes it all up to you. I've got one or two others I might post.

Safely Married - No Fights Broke Out

Well, Avouz is married. I must now work on a pseudonym for the new bride.

The wedding was held in an old-style big Pennsylvanian Lutheran Church with high arches and marble steps to the wall-fixed alter. The groomsmen and "associates" took over the church library for the entire afternoon. It was more than just a hangout, it was a base of operations. I even wrangled a "lackey" to run errands for our group. The best man's tie is missing, call the lackey! The groom forgot to bring socks, send the lackey. Poor guy drove all over streets he's seen once, with me calling him every few minutes with more instructions.

I could go on about the wedding itself...which was very nice...but let's skip it (good and bad) and move on to the party.

The bartender was rather liberal with the drinks. Rum & Coke? Where's the coke? A friend got the strongest Cosmo I've ever been in the same room with. WHEW!

But hell, I'm alive and home (at my inlaws) I have been released from my duties. I simply must get my tux to any Men's Warehouse Tux Location tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I am responsible for NOTHING. We're going to church in the morning and getting together w/ Cainam in the afternoon. I'm not driving or making the plans. I'm totally along for the ride. Their only instruction is to make my day easy and relaxing as possible.

OK, I took my pain-killers and a sleep-aid before I started writing this. They are both definitely working. I can't wait to read this post in the morning.

When I'm more coherent, I will work on some posts with details an maybe even some pictures.

The Final Countdown!

Worst song ever!

But I digress...


On Wednesday, Avouz & I met up at the "Wagon Wheel" Park City, window-shopped, ate dinner then drove into scenic Lititz. No really! There's a movie theater on Airport Rd now. It's actually got stadium seating & DLP screens. It might be the nicest theater I've ever been in. It was just a surreal experience. If you drive up 501 from Lancaster and turn onto Airport road, you get the feeling like you're going to a movie theater in the middle of nowhere. You've got the airport, some warehouses, a field and then in the middle of "nothing" a movie theater. Anyway, Go Speed Racer, Go!

I picked up Avouz as planned on Thursday @ noon. We did the tux fittings, dealt with the first of the mistakes and delays then we shuffled on off to Arundel Mills.

As with any of these group events, there were "hickups." Thankfully, I'm happy to report that Avouz and I only made "wrong-lane followed by U-turn" mistakes. We weren't the ones who went to the wrong mall or didn't hit the road until after the proposed meeting time. Meh, shit happens. Nobody died, got arrested or arrived so late that they missed the fun.

DuClaws Brewery was great. The "samplers" came with twice the beer I expected. My understanding friends helped me drink them. Had I known ahead of time, I would have preferred to simply get a glass of the Naked Fish. This was an amazingly smooth porter with a surprisingly fruity aroma & taste. It provided everything I want in a good, I just want one, beverage.

DuClaws' website actually provided the most headache for the group. Remember the wrong mall comment? Well, two of our party followed the google-maps link and got directions to one of their other locations. Still, in the grand scheme of things, this not-so-little mistake provided the most laughs of the night.

I will never forget watching the groom wandering the mall (we could all see him from our window seats at the restaurant) wearing his Virginia Tech garter proudly on his sleeve as he searched for his missing future bro-in-law. I thought I was going to fall out of my chair when this "older" woman stopped dead in her tracks and just stared at him. The other laughs were all directed at poor Cainam. Since this is nothing new for our group, I'll move on.

To maintain the air of mystery, I'll refrain from sharing the rest of our bachelor party story. Just know that it was at Dave & Busters. I mean, how much trouble can we really get into there?

Friday by 1PM, I was dead on my feet. By 3ish, Allen recognized that I wasn't moving very fast. My body was shutting down and I was really starting to wonder how I would get through the rest of the day. The good news is that the Best Man showed up and took over. They got me an iced tea and some fries (really fresh-cut fries) from one of those fancy burger joints (name escapes me.) This gave me just enough energy to survive the rehearsal and get to the Irish pub for dinner. I'm not sure how I had the energy to get "home" to my in-laws. flyDad is the man and took care of a bunch of stuff for me so I could just collapse. And the Queen showed up from her party just in time to sew a button on the monkey suit for me. I'm definitely going to be in pain today, but it was worth it. Besides, I just have to block it out until tonight. Tomorrow, I can be a complete zombie if need. Slick will be here to take care of me!

OK, I'd write more, but it's nearly time for me to get cleaned up and put on the monkey suit. Pictures are at noon and I've got a bit of a drive to get there. It's a thankfully cool morning.

Oh wait, I've got to tell you about the gifts! We got replicas of Anduril, the sword of Aragon from Lord of the Rings. I'll try to take a picture this week.

More later...

Mission Impossible

For the next three days my job is to help preserve the last vestiges of Avouz' sanity. I do this as a wedding gift for his future bride. I just remember how much joy I got from driving my wife insane and I was to give her the same thrill.

The problem with this mission impossible is today. What the hell are we going to do today? He's in York & I'm in Akron. There's nothing but huge tracks of Amish Farms and Outlet Shopping for miles. There's something less than exciting about driving to the Park City Mall in Lancaster.

I'll let you know how it goes.

On the Road Again

Random road observations...

If a small truck pulls into the left lane going 5-10 miles under the speed limit and can't pass the large truck, thus backing up traffic behind me, how many miles should I wait before I pour it on and thread the needle between them? 1 mile? 2 miles? 5 miles? And should I present my finger against the window or out the window?

French Canadian School Buses spawn in Georgia and then migrate north up I81 to Ontario in groups of 6-12. I passed them twice (doggy-rest stop breaks) and I've already forgotten the French word for stop.

Southern cars form packs. The fast moving cars move in groups of three or four and like to travel at about 90 mph. The rest form herds in an attempt to avoid VA state troopers. Large trucks seem to survive the heat of mid-day by gathering in large numbers at watering holes also known as "rest areas." These rules all disappear at the PA border. In PA, all cars become autonomous creatures in a no-holds-barred, survival of the fittest, drive at your own pace war of wills.

Every time I pass exit 245 on I81 in Virginia, I must resist the urge to pull into the Starbucks there and inform them that their hours suck! How the hell can a Starbucks in a college town be closed at 10:30pm on a Thursday? Do they have any idea the pain they inflicted on me? I need closure, dammit!

$50 a tank! If every gas station for the last 200 miles in Virginia charges $3.699 for regular, how is this not price-fixing?

By driving the speed limit (+5), I can improve the Escape's gas mileage to nearly 28 mpg (Rating of 22/26 mpg). Also, in an amazing coincidence, by driving the speed limit (+5) for 9 hours, I learned the real reason I don't carry a gun.

To the three "Ugly Betty" in the compact car....Yes, my dog is cute. Yes, the "Green Linen Shirt" t-shirt is a World of Warcraft reference. Yes, we've seen each other at two separate rest-stops. Yes, we've passed each other a few times. It's because I'm driving slow to conserve gas and your POS can't go any faster. Please, stop looking over at me. I'm about to throw-up in my mouth...wait, too late.

To the guy in the old Camry...If you would hang up your phone, you may have notice that your lane-changing obsession got you nowhere for 30 minutes. That's why I stopped letting you pass me. I was sorry to see you get off the road, I hope the phone call went well after we parted ways.

Based on the billboards along the Pennsylvania turnpike, I've learned that citizens of the keystone state are deeply concerned about puppy mills, lemon laws & finding hotels. There is also a clear misunderstanding of the importance of juvenile detention centers & social workers. Clearly, the citizenry of this great commonwealth have grown in my absence.

Critics Completely Missed the Mach 5 Magic

I have seen the definition of kitchy and it's name is Speed.

The definition that means cool but cheesy...not the other ones.

Yes, I saw Speed Racer this weekend, just like you knew I would. Was there a doubt? Do you know how large my matchbox car (hotwheels for today's crowd) collection was as a kid?

Usually, I trust the collective wisdom of rotten tomatoes to help me plan a trip to the movies. Not this time. The critics pounded this movie to a dismal 35% freshness rating and I'm at a loss because of it. I don't think "they" got it. Did they take it too seriously? Did they miss the joke completely? The Wachowski brothers didn't go for the "serious" re-mastering like Michael Bay did with Transformers. They went totally for a really campy, video-game feel. I understood this going in and I enjoyed myself because of it.

OK, forget the commentary about movie critics. Let's get to a spoiler free review of the film.

I LOVED IT! It was fan-freaking-tastic. It truly was a live-action, modernized version of the 60's cartoon. It was dazzling and cheezy. The cars treat physics the way my father's mar martini treats vermouth...passing acknowledgment at best. Yes, everyone blows up and nobody dies. Yes, the race sequences require the visual acuity of a hockey goalie to follow. Yes, the chimp humor is over-the-top. Yes, it's a world of barely two-dimensional characters. Yes, big corporations are bad and little guys with dreams are good. Who cares?!? I loved almost every minute of it. I felt like a little kid pushing my cars around the tracks again. Racer X is da man!

If I haven't gotten through to you yet, then you've grown up a little too much. Try this...

Remember your old hotwheels race tracks? Now, picture how you imagined them, make it CGI and then make it BIGGER! Remember how you used to smash your cars up like some sort of mega-demolition derby? Make that bigger too. That's what the race tracks were like in the movie. Remember being 7 and loving Speed Racer? Discover that happy inner-child. Don't think about it. Don't go watch the old Speed Racer cartoons on Hulu. (You'll totally regret that!) Just be that kid trying to piece together enough track to launch your cars off the top of the china cabinet before your mom caught you. If you can go see Speed with that attitude, I know you'll love it.

Note: I just never had enough track or enough stuff to make a sturdy enough trestle to pull off the china cabinet jumps. Ah well.

Also, did you ever seen the myth-busters episode where they tried to race a hotwheel down a mountain road against a corvette? That's the inner child I'm talking about!

Reminds Me of Palmerton

My parents are both from small towns in the Lehigh Gap of Pennsylvania. The linked Wikipedia entry is short but informative. The below attached article immediately brought back vivid memories of visiting grandparents & family. As a kid, I would look up at the mountain from my Grandmother's place and wonder why the mountain was bare. My father told me that he grew up thinking that's how mountains are supposed to look. It was the legacy of the Zinc company. It gave the people a town and jobs, but took away it's trees.

Pollution brings end to Oklahoma mining town

Unlike the town in Oklahoma, Palmerton is still plugging away. People still live there. They still talk about the cancer rate, but they are there. The "no cruising" sign is still out on Delaware Ave. The Olympic-sized town pool is still open for business. In fact, the only thing that looked different when I was there last summer was the mountain. It had trees.

I worry about our world when I think about places like Palmerton, Picher, and most of the state of West Virginia.

Here's Your Sign

Remember my post from last month about the Church Sign in my town? Well, here's something to help you visualize. Thanks to Crash for making me this. Sorry I didn't check that email address sooner.

Here's the site he used: Church Sign Generator

Ruined Books

The following post has been scrubbed of obvious spoilers just in case...

I'm a fan of a certain pulp fiction detective series. The protagonist is a homicide detective who works with the FBI on particularly crazy serial killings. This small nugget of information may have already given away the author and series. I've been reading these books off and on for a few years. I tend to save them for summer vacation. I've even bought books from the series at random sales and stashed them away for just such a purpose. However, I've hit a bit of a snag.

Today, I went ahead and started the next book. I had to take the car in for service and knew I would have an hour+ wait. Within 30 pages I knew I had a problem. I know who done it. I'm not saying I've guessed who done it based on an intimate knowledge of the writer's style or some cliche' of the genre. Nooooo! I'm saying I know the identity of the crazy guy.

It all started 2 summers ago on our one and only European vacation. At some point I needed an extra book for the return flight. I picked up a random book from later (much later) in the series. During on of the protagonist's classic moments of introspection he pondered the events of the very case I'm attempting to read about today. In a moment of frustrating clarity, I remembered that book, the scene playing out in my head. I then remembered how I got to page 150 somewhere over the Atlantic only to discover that the book was misprinted and the next 80 pages were reprints of pages 1-80. Did I mention that my seat's video-player was broken. About 30 minutes later, the attendant finally got it fixed for me. It was then I realized that it was the same exact line-up of videos from the trip over. There I was with 4 hours to go, a ruined book, a partly working monitor shows crap I'd already watched and I couldn't even look out the window from my inner-isle seat. ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! But I digress...

I know that there's fox in the hen house. I know a bunch about what he's going to do next. I know that it's not just the book I'm reading that's tainted, but the next book as well. It's not like re-watching a movie or reading some back-issue comics to learn how it all happened. The whole point of these stories for me is trying to figure out the clues and then be right. My victory has been stolen from me. There is nothing left.

My wife suggested that I would still enjoy the books. She's probably right. But, I also confess a love-hate relationship with them. See, the author really fucks over his hero's life. Every book someone he cares about dies, gets kidnapped, beaten, stalked... I like the hero. I love his family. I don't know I want to go through all that if I already know the killer is and a little about what he's going to do.

My advice to you is to never ever read a series of mysteries or detective novels out of order unless you are 100% certain that the events will have ZERO connection to the other books.

I guess I'm headed to the library on Saturday to get something else to read on vacation.

Sedated

This is update #2 about my poor sedated doggy.

The nerves and excitement from a vet trip and children skateboarding in front of the house kept him lucid and mobile for most of the day. I noticed a bit of a walking problem, but he just pushed on. That all changed after laying by my feet while I played computer games for 3 hours tonight. We got up for the final potty-trip of the night...well, it didn't go well. We have hardwood stairs. He made it to the landing and laid down looking pathetic. I know, for a fact, that he weighs 50.8 lbs. That's about 30.8 more lbs than I'm supposed to carry, but what am I to do? I carried him outside so he could pee, then back upstairs. He's currently cuddling w/ Slick on the bed and looking extra pathetic. I'm not exactly certain where I'm sleeping tonight because unlike most nights, I can't just kick him off the bed. He may fall and hurt himself if I do.

Dog on Drugs

My dog has his annual checkup today. He's a complete spaz at the vet. His file has a warning stamp on it. Thus, we have to give him drugs before we go. Well, it's been 15 minutes and he's already acting loopy. That coupled with the 3.5 mile walk we went on this morning should calm him down a bit. I'm not looking forward to tonight when he can't walk up and down the stairs on his own.

Wish us luck!

UPDATE:

We survived! The medication might make him tired and drunk, but it also gives him a bit of anxiety. Still, he sat (with constant reminders that he was "OK" in my stupid PBS children's program voice) and waited for 5 whole minutes to go back for the exam. Then he stood on the bench next to me while I did the preliminary "how's he doing" checklist w/ the vet-tech. Some interesting things happened when they took him back for his blood-work & kennel cough meds. Not that I blame him. If I had a nose the size of a jumbo-jet, I would be offended by someone shooting stuff up my nostrils too. But he lived and nobody got bitten...not for lack of trying. I had to show them his teeth, but that's par for the course too. He sat like a good dog and waited while I paid, then drug me to the car with all his might when I said it was time to go. But, my arm is still attached, so it was clearly a good visit! Actually, it may have been the best vet visit we've ever had. He's having trouble with stairs and keeps climbing under my desk, but it'll all wear off by tomorrow.

Extraneous Star Wars Coming

Just like every geek born during the Nixon Era, I am a child of Star Wars. Many of you have heard or read my story about seeing the original "A New Hope" from my father's lap. I was 4-1/2. Talk about early life-shaping moments. iDad shakes his head in amused shame every time I mention this.

Let's face it, the prequel movies were mostly a disappointment. Still, I have embraced elements of those movies to the point where I will watch them when I get into my annual Star Wars marathon mood. Who can't love the light saber duel from Ep 1, or Yoda kicking ass in Ep 2?

Still, the true saving grace for the prequels has always been the Cartoon Network's Clone Wars series. This series of short animated episodes took place between Clones & Revenge. It marvelously tied the two together. It was so good that it made me love Revenge. Hell, it probably saved the entire prequel series for me. No discussion of or viewing of the Star Wars saga is complete without these, dare I say, pivotal cartoons.

When I watch the series, including prequels & cartoons, I feel a sense of completion. I know closure and flawed fulfillment of a childhood fantasy. It's not perfect, but it's good enough for me. I am ready for more.

Enter George Lucas...

Lucas' obsessive need to improve upon his previous works now brings us the new CGI Star Wars: The Clone Wars movie. It, by all accounts, looks stunning. The buzz on the net is palpable. My inner child/inner geek is looking forward to it. The rest of me wants to pull a Cher in Moonstruck on Lucas... *SLAP* "Snap outta it!"

Haven't we seen enough? Isn't in definitive enough for him? What does he want? Do we really need to grow attached to even more DOOMED young jedi? Yes, Ahsoka looks cute and scrappy...except for the big bullseye on her fucking head! George, if I promise to cry next time Palpatine gives Order 66, will you stop toying with my emotions?

How about something "new" George? What about the Timothy Zahn novels? I'm down with seeing Luke try to rebuild the Jedi Order & Han try to be a father. Imagine, if you will, Angelina Jolie as Mara Jade. Doesn't that singular idea drive millions of geeks to the theater? Hell, the Dark Empire graphic novels were da bomb! I'm sure you could totally ruin...I mean turn those into movies.

.

Who Knew Civic Duty Could Be Romantic

It was a beautiful day today. I mean, we're talking a "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" kind of day. So this evening Slick and I walked the mile or so to our local fire station and cast our Obama votes.

The fire station wasn't very crowded when we arrived. The woman at the door suggested that we got lucky, but I could have sworn the scanner showed 314 when I slid my ballot inside. Either it resets every now and then or we had disappointing turn-out. Granted, Union County, NC is a lot like Lancaster Co, PA. The local politics are 99% Republican. We live in the region's "liberal" artsy town and Slick surmises that there may be a lot of liberals registered Republican around here so they can have a say. Already having their presidential nominee, local republicans may have stayed home. (Only Democrats & Independents can vote in the Democratic primary in NC.)

Our votes cast, we crossed the "historic" wooden bridge that spans the freight tracks and headed over to the Bridge & Rail Restaurant (local greasy spoon) for some Eastern Carolina BBQ and slaw. Of course, Slick doesn't like slaw. So, when my BBQ platter arrived w/ the slaw on the side & her BBQ sandwich came with it inside, naturally we traded.

I've come to realize that this is my real function in marriage. I'm the knight errant. I trade meals with her because I'll eat just about anything. We go out places and I bring a jacket even though I don't need one. I'll walk through spiderwebs because there's no way she's going through the door until the web is destroyed and no spider can come w/in a thousand leagues of her. I walk out and stop traffic because our town supposedly has pedestrian right of way. To put it another way, I'm clearly the expendable one. But I digress...

It was a wonderful evening. We wandered home slowly babbling about silly, inane stuff. We did our usual best to crack each other up and succeeded. It's evenings like tonight when I reminded just how lucky I am, just how silly my wife is and just how much I'm still very much in love with her. Besides, I always get extra slaw when we're together.

P.S. Yes We Can! w00t!

My Aversion to Horror Movies

I'm in a personal confession kind of mood tonight...

As you all know, I'm a huge SciFi & Fantasy fan. I love just about all of it from modern-day superheroes to Greek Mythology. Give me a well-made Anime show over a sitcom any day. I'd much rather curl up with the works of R.A. Salvatore than Dan Brown. I will re-rent Babylon 5 from Netflix enough that I should just buy the series. When I was 15, I wanted to be Wesley Crusher. I didn't care that he was even more of a dork than I was. (But not by much!) For years I assumed that the SciFi channel was made solely for my entertainment. I just couldn't figure out how they knew!

There's just one problem...

I can't stand horror movies. It may have started when I was 12-13 and a friend showed me Night of the Living Dead. Since then, I've tried all sorts of "Zombie therapy" from killing them in World of Warcraft to listening to John Coulton. Sure, I'm a huge Coulton fan now and I can slay a zombie faster than you can say "Braaaaaains," but they still creep me the fuck out.

Zombies are just the beginning of troubles...

As a teen-ager, I had to practically bolt my shoes to the floor when friends wanted to watch Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street. It's not that I was frightened (although I was) but that my imagination (to this day) does such an amazing job recreating the stuff when I'm asleep. Try waking up just once in an big, old, empty house from a nightmare after watching "the Fog" when your parents are away and see how fast you turn all the lights on.

Oddly, real life doesn't scare me at all...

When my old Volvo wagon hit that patch of ice and spun 360 degrees it didn't phase me. I just took a deep breath, re-started the car and drove on my way. The bear in the woods that time? He went his way, I went mine. The time some jerk flashed a knife outside the mens shelter I was volunteering at? Meh, we all lived. Remember, I'm the nut-job who used to draft behind city buses on my bicycle. Real life is not scary. But horror movies...

They don't go away, they just lie in wait...

When I got older, I just assumed I would be less of a wuss about this stuff. Nope! I tried watching Resident Evil two or three times now. Then someone gets zombiefied and it's all over.

It gets rough when really cool-looking stuff borders on fringes of horror. I love Vampire & werewolf movies until they slip over into the realms of horror. Blade? sure! Underworld? Great! 30 Day of Night? Yeah...no! I get cold shivers just thinking about it.

So, what's the problem?

Well, I was staring at the "Add" button for Cloverfield tonight and I just couldn't do it. Which also reminded me that I totally missed The Host. My urge to watch stuff like this is high. The probability is rather low. Sigh!

You win some ... you die screaming.

Afternoon Matinée

It pains me, but this is spoiler free!

I went to an afternoon matinée of Iron Man. It was a good choice since all the children were still in school. There were roughly 20 white men between the ages of 25-40 with a select few significant others who couldn't get out of it. Slick had confessed to me the other day that she was fine with waiting for DvD.

It was good. Yes, it still boiled down to your traditional superhero origin story. But, the effects were nice, the casting was superb & the pacing kept me from looking at my watch. All the essential elements of the character's origin & relationships are here for the true Iron Man fan. They've simply been updated for the modern stage. It was certainly better than the recent crop of superhero sequels. It was definitely worth the price of admission.

I am not really an Iron Man fan. He may be one of the elite all-star heroes of the Marvel Universe, but he's fairly low on my radar. Frankly, he always struck me as dull. When they flushed out the character in the last decade or so, I found him to be an arrogant, egotistical, alcoholic jerk. These personality defects may detract in the pages of comic books, but in the hands of Robert Downey Jr it really worked. I found myself liking Tony Stark for the first time.

I would say that this film is great for summer action-movie lovers & comic book fans. Everyone else can wait for DvD & internet release.

The following is technically spoiler. But I think I've left it vague enough. This warning is more to protect me from that one angry reader who gets it immediately. Most of you should be fine.



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Two Notes to Marvel Universe fans:


1) Try to convert the government agency acronyms as early as you can. This will make your l33t comic-book skillz feel superior later in the film.

2) Stay for the credits. There's a great character cameo scene. It was not the rumored one that involved General Ross of the Hulk books and it's tied directly into topic #1.

Vote? Only Because You Called To Remind Me, Again...

Since the middle of last week, I've been getting a bunch of calls from the Clinton campaign. The good news is that the nice women (all women thus far) have quickly thanked me for my time when I tell them I'm voting Obama.

This hands-off tactic kind of confuses me though. What's the point of the call? I assume they are calling because we are registered. Why would I bother registering, if I wasn't going to vote? Are there really a lot of registered Democrats out there going Meh, I'll just wait for November? After everything, are there still a lot of undecideds? So, why call if they aren't going to "sell" me on Clinton.

I had half a mind to take one out of NothingKnew's play-book and lead the last woman on a bit. Would she have talked much longer if I had said I was undecided or leaning toward Clinton?

I'm really glad they keep calling so I don't forget to vote Tuesday. Had nobody called, there might have been a slim, snowball's chance in hell I would have forgotten. Yup, thanks to the Clinton campaign, I'll remember to cast my Obama vote! Poor bastards.

Grocery Day Reflection

Yes, I know that this could be the most mundane and perhaps lamest topic I've ever pontificated on. That's why I'm just going to focus on the most useful observation.

When I'm shopping, I watch for the "member-savings" label. At Harris Teeter it's the "VIC" card. For a long while, I would always get the full amount of items for the savings. This, I've learned, isn't always the case. If the labels says something like "2/$3," then I can get one for $1.50. If the label says, "buy one get one free" then I must buy two. Why? It's how the register works. The "2/$x" items ring up the savings immediately per item. The other waits until all my items are checked out. Obviously, the grocery chain wants us to spend more money AND help clear inventory (especially fresh produce.) I say, screw that. If I only need one block of cheddar cheese and it lets me save $0.50, then I'm getting one block of cheese.

Sure, by not getting 2 (or more) I may not get the discount next week. That's also the thinking that helps drive my bill up & makes me waste food. There's always something with the savings label. This week it's the cheddar and next it'll be the jack.

Anyway, if you're in one of those card programs, look carefully. You may be able to cut a few bucks off your weekly bill.