This afternoon we had a run in with a dangerous bumble bee! We had just gotten back on the highway after a brief pit-stop at the North Carolina Welcome Center. The dog "the Moose" was settling down in his spot on the folded down back seats. I had just pegged the cruise control at 75mph and was thinking, praying really, about the upcoming traffic around Lake Norman.
Suddenly, Slick and the Moose noticed something buzzing around over the luggage. It was...dun dun dun...a bubble bee. The Moose watched intently. Slick made concerned remarks. Then it happened, she warned the dog off.
Flashback: For years, Slick's been teaching our 50 lb black lab/cocker spaniel mix to hunt flies. One day he turned his attention to a yellow jacket. The result of this ill-fated food-chain experiment was me holding him down with my knee to pull a stinger out of his lip. Since then he's avoided bees, wasps, yellow jackets and all those "stingy things." Slick actively warns him off of these. When she does he literally jumps back. See where this is going?
Back to the Present: So there I am, cruising along at 75mph with the windows open and the indigo girls blaring when I hear Slick tell the dog "No!" The Moose realizes that his "mommy" has just saved him from biting one of them "stingy things." Pandemonium ensues as the dog tries to escape the evil, twisted, blood-thirsty bumble bee. (All this while I'm still cruising at 75mph.) Slick is insisting that I pull over. I'm thinking about the next exit.
Now, there are few places in a packed 05' Ford Escape for a 50lb dog to go to escape a rabid bumble bee. It was roughly when I got swatted in the face with his tail that I realized that this could, in fact, be a teeny-weeny problem. Perhaps Slick's request to pull over isn't a bad one.
Wait, it gets interesting...
So, I'm trying to find a place to pull over. That's right, I'm going to have to use the berm. In the meantime, Slick and the dog are huddled together in terror against her seat. I'm getting a play-by-play of the bee's location.
"the bee is over the cooler." Long straight-away with plenty of berm. Check!
"the bee is over the dog's bag." Hazard lights activated. Check!
"The bee just flew under your seat." Applying breaks. Check!*
"The bee is at your feet." Stop. Park. Emergency break. Check!
"I can't see the bee!" Bee lands on the outside of my left ankle. Check!**
"Where's the bee?" Rear View Mirror. Open door. Wait for bee to fly out door. Check!
"Is it gone?" Put car in drive. Check rear view mirror. Apply gas. Reset iPod. Check!
It's at this moment when I realize that it really was just a "big" stupid honey bee that almost killed me, my wife and my stupid dog! Oh and traffic at Lake Norman...yeah, it was fine!
* It's during these nano-seconds that I'm reminded that my father is horribly allergic to bees. But then, I've been stung a lot with no problems. But wait, didn't I read somewhere that people can develop allergies to bees? Wouldn't it be just my luck for this to be the moment. Thankfully, the words of Douglas Adams pops into my head "Don't Panic!" After all, there's a towel in the car. I'll be fine!
** On the other hand, maybe Douglas Adams was full of crap! Where are my sun-glasses?
No comments:
Post a Comment