Transitions

This week marks the 3rd anniversary of our moving from our home in Pottstown, PA. Amazed at how time flies, I've decided to take a few moments to look back over the last 5 years.

For more than 1/2 our married lives, Slick and I have felt "transitional." It all started when we bought our first home in Pottstown. It was built in 1914, but had "modern" upgrades due to a fire in the early 90's. It was unique. It had all the charm of an old home, but had the amenities of a modern place. Sadly, it also had all the problems of both. Slick loved the house. I found myself treating it like a massive art project. Could I shape it to my will? Could I make it classic yet fill it with gadgets? It was a real love-hate thing. But in the end, the house won me over.

The house was supposed to be our long delayed "nest." We had a home, good jobs and a dog. After a fun but challenging first year, it seemed time. Then I was downsized...D'oh!

My IT job, acquired during the booming pre-Y2K run-up, was gone. I had survived the post-Y2k and 9/11 layoffs, but could not survive the post-merger cost-cutting that followed in 2003. It was ironic. I had been given multiple awards and bonuses for my personal efforts in the merger. I, in a sense, had worked myself out of a job.

The sudden reality was that I was let go in a perfect storm. My skills had not progressed enough to move to the next level, full sys-admin. My salary requirements were too high to return to the level below me, help-desk. And it was the level I had reached, on-site desktop support, was dried up.

Still, we were happy. My severance package was more than adequate. Our old home needed a lot of TLC. And, I could spend the next 4-6 months fixing my house and evaluating my long-term commitment to the I.T. profession.

Amazingly, we were at the end of month 6 when the other shoe dropped. I was making headway in the job market. I had a couple of IT job prospects and interviews. I was also interviewing with other companies for more "stability." Then Slick's company informed us that they were closing her office. We could move to North Carolina or she could find another job. It took us 4 days to decide. She took the relocation option.

And so, the next and most painful transition began. We had a buyer for our home in 4 days. We moved out before the end of August 2004. My tomatoes, that I had cared for all summer long, were about 1 week from being ripe. Slick stayed in PA to work in her office, while I went south to finalize our transition to the new house and re-start my job-search in Charlotte.

This is the part where one would think that things would become "normal." Yeah, not so much. Slick's company took 2 years to complete the transition. She worked out of offices in two states for 2 years. Sometimes staying in PA for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. My new job was great, but it also coincided with the onset of my medical condition.

Now, three years after the move we find ourselves the most stable. I still feel "transitional" because I'm still learning to cope with my condition and I'm not even considering work. Yet, this is the stable point. Five years after we began our first house-search, we are finally settled. Nothing is as we planned or wanted except that we are together.

Are we content with the situation? Hell no. Are we going to make the best of it? Hell yeah!

So what have I learned?

- I have learned to make long-term plans based on broad desires for health, well-being and a measure of financial security. Concrete plans are for this week, this month or this year.

- I have learned that the song "love the one you're with" is full of crap. Be with, wherever it takes you, the one you love. Let the rest sort itself out.

- I have learned that my condition, which still sucks, has been a blessing in our lives. It has forced us to re-evaluate our priorities...hopefully for the best.

- I have learned that the important stuff doesn't happen overnight. Life takes time to work itself out.

- I'm still working on patience and humility. While I seem to be making strides on the first, I wouldn't hold my breath on the second.