Feeling a Little Green Today

Sometimes I just feel like making changes. So today, the blog gets a "green" look to it. Not sure why. I've been seriously thinking about dredging out my old web-design guides and building my own site instead of relying on the Google templates. Of course, even saying this is dangerous because NothingKnew will start emailing me with resources and ideas, then get disappointed with me for not doing it. I can hear him now, "Good lord, you've got plenty of time on your hands. Why don't you learn to program while you're at it?"

*Sigh*

It's a sad, twisted world when you're more worried about disappointing your college roommate than disappointing your own Father.

...but I digress...

Actually, I felt like green because green is the color that "they" used to make mental hospitals. I feel the need for a bit of cheering up. I'm really, REALLY aching this week. It wouldn't be so bad, except when I went to walk the dog, the bottoms of my feet hurt. THE BOTTOMS OF MY FEET!!! I mean, what kind of shit is that?!? What kind of weird neurological confusion does the fibro cause to tell the bottoms of my feet to hurt.

I called my mother* -- mid-walk -- to share this new revelation. She said, "Yeah, wait until it targets one toe and all you want to do is cut it off so the pain will stop." She has a way with prospective. Actually, it was a good talk. I've been frustrated of late. My overall health has improved, but as I try to do more I've been hitting roadblocks like the laundry thing from the other week's post.

Mom was very helpful. She gave me some good tips. For example:

The other week vacuuming laid me out for days! It's vacuuming for goodness sakes! It's not like I'm working in the garage or building a deck. I'm fucking vacuuming and over the next few days I want to crawl away and die. She told me that I should "walk with the vacuum."

I wanted to say, "That's what old people do." But damn, she was right. Vacuuming killed me because my neck and shoulders went into full fibro-shock from all that arm movement.

It's funny because mom & I don't usual talk much about it. Fibro's tricky because two people (even related people) can often have completely divergent ways of dealing with it. We also tend to not like to dwell on it. My friends like to ask "How are you feeling?" I hate to disappoint them with my answers. I'd rather treat it like the elephant in the room. We all know it's there. We all know we have to deal with it. But, if there's a way to talk around it, it's preferred. Still, I know that they care and I'm glad they ask.

Anyway, that's why the site got the green face-lift today.

*My Mom also has Fibro. (But it's not hereditary....What a crock that is.) She dealt with it for all those years when doctors said it was a mental illness and insurance companies wouldn't pay for treatment. I'm simply dealing with it as a man with a mostly female condition. I have it easy!