My Uncle's Empty Christmas Stocking - A Saga

I'm writing today knowing full-well that the following situation is not resolved & knowing full-well that my uncle reads my blog. I've just been holding this one in for far, far too long...

My saga begins at Thanksgiving.

Slick and I went north to my parents' house. It was a long trip (15-hours driving) but we stopped at my in-laws in PA for a free bed & a hot shower.

Thanksgiving was, to say the least, wonderful. We took Princess Kitty to see Enchanted (great movie.) My sister, Cats made me a phenomenal birthday cake. My uncle drove down from Boston for the long weekend.

I said wonderful, right?

Anyway, on Friday night Cats, "Hubby," Slick & I all went to a really nice Irish Pub right off the New Haven Green. Since it was Thanksgiving weekend, the streets were empty and the place was relatively quiet. Our waiter even told us that we should relax and not rush on his account. He expected a quiet night.

After the round of Guinness arrived, we got down to a long, long discussion about Christmas presents. See, we can NEVER figure out what to get our Uncle. It's not that he's picky. Far from it. He's just a simple guy with simple tastes. He's not extravagant. He's not a pack rat. He likes to read and he likes sports.

This year was equally challenging because mom had not given us any suggestions either. So, not only did we have to figure out what to buy for our uncle, but mom "the woman with no hobbies" was also giving us trouble.

After 2.5 hours, (and a fabulous meal) we had a plan for mom and the beginnings of a plan for our uncle. Unfortunately, I was the one on the hook for his gift. I began my search for the "sports memorabilia" after I got home. And after a few days, I found a good prospect on the Amazon Marketplace. (That's where Amazon is a wholesaler for other companies.)

I emailed the others and the OK'ed it, but I wasn't satisfied. So, I sat on it and looked some more. Before I knew it, the clock was ticking to Christmas. I settled on two items that I knew he would like that still kept us in the price range. I was nervous because both would arrive "close" to Christmas and neither offered expedited shipping. OK, one did, but for some outrageous price.

That's when stuff got messy...Or as I like to say, "Blog-worthy."

The first domino was the email telling me that one of the gifts ran out of stock while my order was being filled. This was also the item that had the best delivery window. I was certain that it would arrive for Christmas. Yeah, not so much. They had already refunded my credit card. It didn't exist anymore and there weren't any suitable replacements that would arrive on time.

All our hopes rested on item #2. Now item #2 was actually the bigger-ticket item anyway. It just had a delivery range of Dec 24-27. I contemplated asking iDad to get him to hold his "little" brother down until it arrived.

Hey, my sister used to do it to me all the time!

Still, it shipped on time and by Friday, Dec 21, I was feeling really good about our chances. Heck, it was already in Maryland. I left for my own Christmas with Slick's family hoping for the best.

On Christmas day, I talked to Cats. No gift. Darn! Our Uncle would be returning to Boston to work. Double darn! But, he was coming back for the weekend. W00t!!!

I should have done some online tracking at this point, but I really didn't have much time. I was doing holiday stuff with Slick's family & then had to head to Lancaster Co for Karen's funeral. The package would have to get there on faith and the well-deserved reliability of Amazon.com.

On the 27th, my sister called. Nothing! Crap?!? Still, I had no time to deal with it. I kept moving and hoping. On Saturday, I finally looked into the matter. Wait, the package made it safely to the door?!? What door? No details. I checked my spam email account for details. That's where I found a nice email from the woman in -- yep, you guessed it -- Maryland, who got my package on Dec 24th. I shit you not.

Now, how much would you pay for this Christmas memory? Wait! Don't ask! There's more...

I used online customer support on Amazon to alert them to the error. Someone at Online Sports, the company that sold the "sports memorabilia" contacted me promptly on Monday. Of course I was traveling on Monday. They were taking prompt action. But I knew and they knew that it was New Years Eve and a short week. So, chances are that the package would not get to my sister's for another week. I decided that I would simply have to sit on my hands for a week.

One week later...

Nothing. No really. Nothing! Not a peep. In fact, I got a customer support survey from Amazon but nothing more from Online Sports. After completing a "glowing" review of Online Sports customer service, I emailed them back.

Here's what I wrote:

It is now 1/8/08. My sister has still not received this package, nor have I received any further information from your company about re-issuing my order. I expect that the item will be in her hands by week's end and/or I expect a reply from you explaining the problem. If you can not resolve this, please send me a 1-800 number for your customer service department so that I might be able to speak with someone who can.

And guess what, someone called me the next day. Good for them. Resolved? Not so much.

See, the last of my selected "sports memorabilia" IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE was apparently shipped to the nice woman in Maryland. So, the nice guy at Online Sports (notice how I keep mentioning the company name) told me that they were paying for FedEx to go to this woman's home to claim my uncle's Christmas present and then ship it to my sister's house. They are not able to ship it anywhere but the original location.

If it weren't such a complete debacle OR if I was a vindictive man, I would wait another day and cancel the purchase. But, my doctor insists that I reduce my stress level. There's nothing that can be done about this, but to wait. In Fact, I told the guy I would give them 1 more week. What else can I do? It's the last one available. Hopefully by Monday...

Damn, I hope he likes it!