On the Road Again

Random road observations...

If a small truck pulls into the left lane going 5-10 miles under the speed limit and can't pass the large truck, thus backing up traffic behind me, how many miles should I wait before I pour it on and thread the needle between them? 1 mile? 2 miles? 5 miles? And should I present my finger against the window or out the window?

French Canadian School Buses spawn in Georgia and then migrate north up I81 to Ontario in groups of 6-12. I passed them twice (doggy-rest stop breaks) and I've already forgotten the French word for stop.

Southern cars form packs. The fast moving cars move in groups of three or four and like to travel at about 90 mph. The rest form herds in an attempt to avoid VA state troopers. Large trucks seem to survive the heat of mid-day by gathering in large numbers at watering holes also known as "rest areas." These rules all disappear at the PA border. In PA, all cars become autonomous creatures in a no-holds-barred, survival of the fittest, drive at your own pace war of wills.

Every time I pass exit 245 on I81 in Virginia, I must resist the urge to pull into the Starbucks there and inform them that their hours suck! How the hell can a Starbucks in a college town be closed at 10:30pm on a Thursday? Do they have any idea the pain they inflicted on me? I need closure, dammit!

$50 a tank! If every gas station for the last 200 miles in Virginia charges $3.699 for regular, how is this not price-fixing?

By driving the speed limit (+5), I can improve the Escape's gas mileage to nearly 28 mpg (Rating of 22/26 mpg). Also, in an amazing coincidence, by driving the speed limit (+5) for 9 hours, I learned the real reason I don't carry a gun.

To the three "Ugly Betty" in the compact car....Yes, my dog is cute. Yes, the "Green Linen Shirt" t-shirt is a World of Warcraft reference. Yes, we've seen each other at two separate rest-stops. Yes, we've passed each other a few times. It's because I'm driving slow to conserve gas and your POS can't go any faster. Please, stop looking over at me. I'm about to throw-up in my mouth...wait, too late.

To the guy in the old Camry...If you would hang up your phone, you may have notice that your lane-changing obsession got you nowhere for 30 minutes. That's why I stopped letting you pass me. I was sorry to see you get off the road, I hope the phone call went well after we parted ways.

Based on the billboards along the Pennsylvania turnpike, I've learned that citizens of the keystone state are deeply concerned about puppy mills, lemon laws & finding hotels. There is also a clear misunderstanding of the importance of juvenile detention centers & social workers. Clearly, the citizenry of this great commonwealth have grown in my absence.